a wish...

I can't be with my Honey for Thanksgiving in person, but my heart is with him and our family at home.

So on this day of family togetherness, when we are reminded of the bounty we are all graced with, be it the giggle of a small child, a warm embrace with a loved one, a warm blanket and a snuggle in bed or a simple "I love you" spoken ever so softly, I ask that you enjoy your day... and that you love the ones you're with.

And maybe spare a few minutes to help feed the less fortunate...

Go on, shake me

Still feeling a bit yucky but I have hope...



unlike poor Chuck. *giggle* (You can click it to big it)

I'm a firm believer that for every one of life's dilemmas, there is a cartoon quote that can provide guidance.

I'm serious.

So, just ask away and I'll try my bestest to find the answer you are looking for... I'll be your own personal Magic 8 Ball.

Go ahead... ask. I'll be nicer than Lucy, I promise.

"It's too late to crawl back into the egg."
- Woodstock

bookworm, bookworm... inching through the library

The lovely Akelamalu bestowed upon moi that nifty badge up there and tagged me for a book meme. Who can say no to a graphic like THAT!?

So there are rules apparently and since the germies have beaten me into submission and I'm too tired to be a rebel I'm going to follow the rules.

Rules: Pass it on to five other bloggers, and tell them to open the nearest book to page 46. Write out the fifth sentence on that page, and also the next two to five sentences. The closest book, not the coolest, or the one you think will sound the best. THE CLOSEST!!!

I've been reading a VERY cool autobiographical account of a real-life CSI, "Never Suck A Dead Man's Hand" by Dana Kollman. I would have been an awesome CSI... I'm all stealthy and a total geek. I actually tested a driver's splash visor with a reactive chemical to prove he wasn't wearing it the way he was supposed to, when he was supposed to. Yeah, don't mess with me or I'll totally bust you, biotch!


So here goes...

I was disgusted! I was horror-struck! Suddenly, I wasn't cold anymore. I had blood in my mouth and on my chin and one of the firemen ran to his truck and returned with the only cleaning agent he had: rubbing alcohol. I opened the bottle, filled my mouth and swished, swished, and swished. I did it again and again.

Now... for the award ceremony.


I nominate:

Mimi The Queen of Meme because a writer of her caliber must have interesting reading on hand.

Dianne, from Forks Off The Moment, because she's super cool and I always enjoy reading her blog, great mix of opinions and sauciness.

Kate, from Sauciwee... I recently learned 100 things about her and now I want to know what she's reading.

Lu, from PAGreenery is one cool chick and she's been enjoying writing more and mre, so again, I need to see what inspires her.

And lastly, but just as cool, my guy twin, Ron who likes to VENT and I like egging him on. I know whatever he's reading, I'M going to want to read.

ah yes, I remember it well

Remember that feeling you'd get as a kid when you would bust out running full speed and you were convinced that if you could ramp it up just a little more you would totally be able to fly?

Me either. I've been a slug for over a week now and the doc confirmed I have influenza DESPITE my getting the vaccine for it earlier this month.



So be warned, I expect you all on the interwebz to keep me entertained as I'm bored out of my skull.

One good thing about being awake in the middle of the night is watching movies completely uninterrupted by A) a child, or B) snoring dogs (but just wait til you've been sleeping for 30 minutes and they'll be all up in your face licking it and wanting out to pee).

So... I watched (again) one of the most brilliant comedy teams around these days...

I didn't think cops could be as funny as zombies but damn it all if they are!

put the coffee down and swallow, now...

Best. Commercial. EVAH!

So, who's got YOUR back?

Because sometimes? You need an escape plan.

Edited at 10:00 AM Friday the 21st:

Matt,

You are valued and I'm right here holding the blanket if you want to jump in.

Love you, buddy.

SMOOCH

Hump days...

Should I do a Wordless Wednesday? It's not like I have much to say.

Thanks for the wishes for health... at least I don't have pneumonia. Phew!

I can report that inhalers suck... yuck. And that I have renewed appreciation for healthy lungs. If you've been blessed with them also, please take a moment and visit my friend Desert Songbird. She lives with Pulmonary Hypertension and does so gracefully.

I got a CD in the mail! Yay! Thanks Vince... Chicklet was doing some car dancing (well bopping and swaying really) to WOODFISH on our way home from school yesterday. I tried... but it made me feel woosy, so I stopped.

Sometimes it's good to just wander the interwebs. Lookie what I found:

I'd never heard this guy before today and I was missing out. His name is Sean Hayes (no, not the actor), please give him a listen. I really enjoy his voice and the bare simplicity of the music. I've included more than one song on the mixtape (I am seriously digging this new toy). The sun was shining in through the patio door, I had a nice cup of Chai and this music on... almost forgot I was feeling puny.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make myself some French Onion soup from scratch... maybe it'll scare the germies away!

Edited 1:50 PM: This? Is why God invented onions. YUM!

I'm off!

No, not off my rocker...

or off to the races...

I'm off to the clinic because this bug that got me keeps me from being able to function in the manner I should be able to. I can't walk up or down the stairs without needing a nap. Don't get me wrong, naps are good, but geez!

So... I'm bringing:

• a book -"Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand" - cause you never know who you might come across in a urgent care waiting room and it's excellent advice but really? Someone needs to be told this?;
  
• my iPod - which does NOT contain songs by The Carpenters;
  
• my work cell - in case something explodes or someone needs to reach me pronto;
  
• hand sanitizer - because really... there will be sick people there and all manner of germies! and maybe a dead man and I might need to sanitize his hand as I might feel compelled to suck... nah!;
  
• a bunch of tissues - so I may continue depleating the small bit of rainforest that's left;
• a banana - I hear potassium is good for you;
  
• and gum - I like gum plus if I chew open-mouthed and crack my gum I may get rid of some people ahead of me.

Ugh! This is going to take hours... Think people will leave if I sing a medley of my favourite things? If I thought it would work I would totally do it.

life at home... with the nutjobs

I have some miscellany to post, bear with me people. Oh... and yeah, I'm still home but the Chicklet has returned to school. Yay!

I know barfing sucks donkey arse... but seriously? Why my monster beagle Sharkdog felt the need to keep on walking as she barfed, leaving a slimy yellow trail as she went (like snail cooties), is beyond me. It was as if she trying to get away from the unpleasantness as it occurred. I ? Was not amused.

She's okay BTW, see?



Yeah and um, that snort you heard? Totally not me.

Oh, I have a question. Is there any one else out there like me? You see, I can't have fruit in the fruit bowl that still has a sticker on it. It bothers me and I don't know why. Apart from the apples, I take the skin of everything so really it shouldn't matter... but it does. Compulsive much?

Also, does anyone else dread the day when it's time to change the oil in the deep fryer? Do you have a coping mechanism? Or do you just move?



And why is it that even though I leave to go grocery shopping with a list and remember to bring our enviro-friendly bags I always end up buying exactly enough stuff to fill all the bags. Always. I bring 3 bags, that's all I fill. If I happen to bring in the 7 bags that are in the trunk of the car (like on Sunday) I manage to fill them all. I could have sworn that list I had needed 5 bags, MAX! We have 8 bags in total... why? Because I buy more when I forget them (yes, Brian... I too forget them), it's guilt. I should just leave them in the trunk all the time so I won't have to buy more. Unless they come up with winter ones, what?! On the plus side, I may not have to leave the house for a month. (7 bags of groceries... oy!)

Speaking of enviro-friendly... I'm afraid my Chicklet and I may be responsible for wiping out a small portion of the rain forest. For those of you that own stock in the tissue manufacturing companies... you're welcome. Now how about sending some of your windfall earnings our way. Chicklet wants a Wii. And no, the tissues didn't fill any of the enviro-friendly bags. Also, do NOT sick Al Gore on us. I don't have room in the freezer (I repeat, 7 bags full people!!!).



I have to send Captain Dumbass (go ahead, click on his name... only when you're done here though) a toque (pronounced took-eh!) or he'll freeze his brains.

I'm going to riffle through a box here, and even shop for it because if I have to knit it, he'll never get one.





I've also been wondering, why do birds suddenly appear... wait, why are the Carpenters on my iPod?

So Captain Dumbass, if you're game I'll totally send you a toque, just send me your snail mail.

just you wait, miss sugarpants...

Something happened to my sweet little sunshine princess that made her not want any more "kissies". She still wants hugs, but no kissies. Now if you know me at all, you'll realize, this? Is unacceptable!

What has she resorted to in order to prevent me from kissing her? She sucked her big toe (thank Hera it was clean)!!! Excuse me while I go yak, toss my cookies, call ralph (I knew a Ralph once, he was vomit inducing so, heh, a worthy slang term indeed) on the big white phone, bark at the ants, etc. (On a side note... While I was looking up nifty ways to say vomit on the interwebz - cause that's what the interwebz is all about, eh?- my Chicklet asked me why I was laughing. I told her I had found new ways of saying vomit... She said: Simon Cowell? Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! My child!) Maybe she has a disorder like those people that eat dirt. I'll have to look that up on WebMD.



I used to spend hours kissing her sweet face when she was a baby. Her breath smelled like Granny Smith Apples. And she would give me those big open mouth, wet and drooly, baby eat-your-cheek kissies. I let her drool kiss ME... and now? She turns on me!

"Chicklet, why don't you want kissies?"
"Because, kissies are wet and disgusting."

You know I'm totally reminding her of this when she starts dating, right? Totally.

I'm sorry, Raven. Truly I am.

After a long hiatus (it probably should have continued, but what else am I going to do while I'm sick), I return to Wordzzle. Life has been running me ragged but when the germies slow me down I have to keep my brain busy (or I'll turn into a zombie and that ain't pretty). Now, don't sound the trumpets yet. When it's all over you may want to grab that Gong Show hook and drag me away.

If you click on the graphic up there (that square thingy that says Raven's Saturday Wordzzle Challenge), you'll find the Wordzzle headquarters. From there, you're just a clickity click away from leaving a comment and being able to visit other Wordzzlers (I think that's a word...).

So...

The words for this week's ten word challenge were: palace, hypocrite, canned air, telephone, biscuit, pinball, acorn, customary, fruit juice, waterfall

Valiant Knight Toby sat on the small chair, afraid to breathe. It creaked every time he shifted and it was as comfortable as sitting on a bowl of acorns. He was in Princess Ruby’s elfin palace for a very special celebration in his honour.
A plate of fresh biscuits was placed on a lovely doily in the center of the round table. As Princess Ruby started to pour the fruit juice into delicate flowery china cups, his mobile telephone rang. Her shoulders slumped a bit, but she didn’t look up and kept pouring the amber liquid. He rose gingerly and walked to the corner of the room, bent at the waist.

“My fair princess, I’m afraid I have to leave. The wizard summoned me, there’s a situation I have to attend to.”
“That’s all right.” she sighed. “I understand, you have some very important work to do.”
“I shall return as soon as I’ve dealt with the problem, I promise.”, he bowed as is customary when leaving a princess’s company.

He felt like a hypocrite and a cad, but the pinball factory paid him a great deal of money to keep things running smoothly.
He turned and noticed the banner that wished him a Happy Father’s Day and the waterfall of tears coming down his little princess’s cheeks. At that moment, you could have knocked him down with one small burst of canned air.

They got me...

Disclaimer: if this post makes no sense I blame the confused red germ.

Ugh! I hope the purple one got me because that blue one looks just plain mean and prickly. The red one looks so confused it might get lost and end up somewhere germs aren't supposed to go and stick around, like my big toe. And the green one.... well, it's green and that's cruel. Nuff said.

On the positive side, Sharkdog does not have tuna butt and Chicklet is well on her way to being healthy.
Oh.. and there's jello in the fridge... except that the fridge is downstairs and I'M not.

Right, so Dumdum seems to be getting his own health issue as well. He's been shaking that big empty head of his a lot and I suspect something's amiss with his ear. So last night, I decided to put a little doggie ear cleaner in there. He comes easily enough until he notices the bottle in my hand, doggie instinct kicks in and he runs off in the other direction (he can't get far, the house isn't that big). Well... all my years of schooling in psychology are put to the test. How easy is it to fool this dog? I just squeal and run in the opposite direction. It was a lot like grammar school when you'd either run away and play coy or smack the boy you liked on the head. Mission accomplished. He was as confused as the red germ.

It's the little victories that make life meaningful, you know? HOOOOOOOORAH!



Last night we watched the elimination show for SYTYCD Canada and I think Canada got this one wrong. We had to say goodbye to Kaitlin and Danny. Although I haven't been a fan of Kaitlin's throughout the season so far, I've never had a bad thing to say about her dancing (she did fall a bit flat this week mind you). I just think she was a victim of youth and inexperience. What really has my underwear in a twist (I, unlike Jeremy - Jen's hubby from Steenky Bee- who likes to go commando and came out of the closet, was wearing underwear yesterday) is that Danny was "voted off" in favour of lesser dancers (IMHO).
This guy has some of the best partnering abilities I've seen on a dance show and I just hope Chicklet and I will be able to get tickets to see him during the SYTYCD Canada tour.

Ah crap! It just dawned on me... Kaitlin was WEARING THE RED GERM! Yup... confused. My point exactly.

I feel lightheaded now... back to bed.

Need I say more?

always remember

...to empty the bathtub after your kid takes a bath.

So yesterday, in the hopes of washing away the ickies, Chicklet took a long leisurely bubble bath. When she was done, she got out, dried off (I know this because her jammies were dry although she was a prune) and put on the aforementioned jammies (they have penguins on them) to join me as we watched SYTYCD Canada before she was shooed to her own bed.



I remember asking her if she had pulled the plug in the bath and her "Oops!" response... She always forgets. I swear I had made a mental note to go back and correct her oversight. But the sticky note fell behind some other clutter in my brain.

I settled in for the night with our dogs snoring loudly in the room. Sharkdog was in her usual spot (hogging the bed) and Dumdum was by the bedroom door. That dog seems to prefer sleeping in front of doors. I think he keeps hoping I'll forget he's there, wake up in the darkened room to fetch water or visit the WC and trip over him and provide him with a carcass to scavenge. I'm actually giving him far too much credit. He is the "Pinky" to Sharkdog's "The Brain".

In the middle of the night, as I was sleeping soundly, the plan to take over the house went into full force.



Ok, actually, the dogs were thirsty and requested some libations. So... being the good hooman I am (if I do this quick I'll never really wake up... yeah... that's the ticket) I crawled out of bed and opened the bedroom door so the Trouble Twins could quench their thirst. They're like Hobbits with pints, I tell ya.

Dumdum started down the stairs towards the water bowl in the kitchen and Sharkdog was dragging her fat carcass (I really do love them... yeah...) behind him. That is... until I decided to visit the WC in the dark.

That my friends, is when all hell broke loose.

You see, Sharkdog has discovered the joys of drinking from the faucet in the bathtub.


and


SPLASH!



and


no! no! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!




$%@&(?&!!!!!

Half wet dog... in the dark... wanting to go back on my bed... smelly... not a Bounce sheet in sight.... where the $@%$ is the towel?

Get back here!

No!

STOP!


ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

I need new jammies...

I hate you.

*stubbs toe*

$@%$

*Sharkdog smirking* I swear she was smirking!!!

*drool* Yeah, keep doing that Dumdum...

Great, now I'm awake.

What's on TV?



This morning, Chicklet was still icky. So... home again. After hugging Sharkdog until Sharkdog would be hugged no more she proceeded to hug Dumdum... who had enough right quick but is too much of a wuss to do anything about it.

The following ensued:

Me, the jello and soup maker extraordinaire: "Let him be, he looks miserable!"

Chicklet aka the Germ Factory aka the "why are you blogging this" whiner: "But I want to hug a dog! And I can't hug Chelsea (you know, Sharkdog's given name)!" (in her whiny sucky tone)

Moi: "Why not? She won't let you?" *snarf*

Germs: "Yeah.. and I don't want to... she has tuna-butt"

OH.DEAR.MERCIFUL.GOD!

Not THAT again!!!