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I'm still home from work.
This morning, after I stumbled into Chicklet's bedroom to wake her for school (still delusional about the magical powers of a shower) she sat up, looked at me and said: "Mom, you're not going to work are you? Cause you look like a zombie."
Nice. I got dressed and drove her to school. I had to sit on my way back from her locker before heading out the door. Man, I'm tired.
I drove home and resisted the urge to run over a jaywalker who was walking in the middle of the street, no where near an intersection and had the nerve to look at me like she was Queen of the World and I was one of the subjects that had escaped National Beheading Day. Maybe she's never seen a zombie before.
I got home and went inside. The dogs whimpered. "What?! Haven't you ever seen a zombie before?"
I called into work and spoke to my nurse and she gave me a few tips on how to rebuild the levee in my colon. She then gave me the "don't you dare come to the office and start contaminating everyone" speech.
"Not even if I bring my antibacterial wipes?"
"No."
"But..."
"NO!"
*sigh*
Although I rather enjoy a good argument, the nurse wins this one because she's the one who'll be conducting my yearly respirator fit-test and if she's anything like me, she'll remember the argument and get revenge when I am most vulnerable.... cause that's how we roll.
So... what do zombies do all day? Research the internets for propaganda against zombies... such as:
All I have to say about that is... "That's pwepostewous!"
37 comments:
I hope you are staying hydrated. Are you taking meds?
Turnbaby - I'm staying well hydrated. Fluids aren't much of an issue. I did manage to eat some chicken and rice soup and so far it looks like it's staying put. I think rice is the intestinal tracts version of sandbags.
Brad HAS to watch the clip... seriously!
I'm so sorry to hear you're still poorly honey. I'm sending you some Reiki - hope it makes you feel better. xx
akelamalu - Thank you my dear friend (it doesn't involve any tickling does it?)
My first thought went to Monty Python. I think the official stopper upper diet is B.R.A.T. bananas, rice, apples and toast. Glad to hear you are keep hydrated.
Correction, it is applesauce not apples.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BRAT_diet
hi, thank you for dropping by my blog and leaving a comment on this sad day.
sorry you are feeling porly and bored no wonder you ended up at my place. I see there are several names on your side bar that I am familiar with.
Aww...I hope you start feeling better soon. :-)
Try the BRAT diet. Bananas, Rice, Applesauce and Toast. It's what all the zombies eat. ;)
Lu: I've managed applesauce and rice.. for dinner I shall attempt toast!
Lady in Red: I feel fortunate that I managed to catch up on some blog reading and came across your blog. Again, my condolences on your loss. Thank you for the feel better wishes.
Twyla: Thank you sweetness. I'll catch up on your wedding plans.
Nitebyrd: I'm half way through it, but I know for a fact zombie prefer cake. ;) Thanks for stopping by!
Let me send the "Get Well" fairies and see if that helps!
What is a colon levee? and how did you break it. Sounds painfull and I would like to keep mine safe.
Dana: It can't hurt...unless they wear army boots.
Dan: Stay away from Vaseline.
Thanks for swinging by my site. And all I can say is "Cold-Eeze" couch drops. And anti-zombie spray.
I don't have any advice except drink a lot of fluids. Fluids are your friend. Feel better, Zombie.
Dear girl I hope you feel better!!
Very bizarre zombie vid. When I used to do the Myspace thing there were some strange conversations going on about them. ?
{{{healinghug}}}
I don't know about this BRAT diet. I though the best thing for zombies was brains brains brains.
I can't tell you how much I *heart* that video!
I am so sorry to hear you are feeling bad. Sending you a hug and lots of healing vibes. Smooch.
Wow...I'm glad I know that now...I'm certain to use that valuable information at work....
alas I too am zombie-fied with cold and fever...i thought sickness was a winter thing...wtf????
They tell me to stay home too (also a nurse) but I say F*CK IT! they torture me all the time, I'm gonna spread my germs!
Hi Anndi,
I'm sorry to hear that you are sick.You get rested & take it easy.
One last "au revoir" before we head out to the US on Sunday...
I emailed you recently, so go fetch that e mail !
See ya !
Grosses bises xxxx
Ohhhh, I don't like to hear that your sick.. especially with gastro..
I hope Chicklet didn't get it too.
I hope your eating more than chicken and rice when you read this..
Sending you a little ray of sunshine.
Hugs and luv,
Lesley
That zombie film was brilliant! I knew there was a reason I'm a member of the NEA.
Hope you feel better. ;)
Zombies are very popular right now... maybe you could get a job in central casting until you feel better!
AHU: Hi there! Spray? Really?
Karen: Thank, fluids (just not the fun kind *sigh*)
CC: Thanks for the feel better wishes. I'm getting there. It seems I often think of zombies when I'm ill... hmmm...
Travis: BRAINS! Well, it starts out the same B.R.A...
Jen: me too! Sheer genious!
Mimi my Queen: I appreciate your royal blessings and wishes.
Even zombies need a few days off.
Hopefully your resting and following the nurse's orders!
I hope you feel better soon, Anndi. I apologize for not stopping by. But by God, I just repositioned my lazy ass and fixed your link. Cheers Anndi!!
When's National Beheading Day? At last, something to get a bumper sticker for!
Great post. At least your sense of humour's sick as well. I like it like that.
BTW, I'm reading the Zombie Survival Guide at the minute (essential reading). You'll be relieved to hear that if you are one of the walking dead, you can last underwater because you don't need air. So, no more expensive scuba equipment for you, then!
Get well soon. Or at least go and breath on some jaywalkers.
Coop my friend: First off, I'm sorry you've been struck down by the dread summer cold. Hope someone makes you some chicken soup.
Second, I am SO glad you're back! YAY!
Third, you work with zombies? I didn't know you were a contractor for the government.. *wink*
Be well my friend!
Bee: No one tells Bee to stay in.. oh I forget where I was going with that.
Barbara: Can't wait to finally meet you. Bon voyage! safe travels!
Lesley: You really are a little ray of sunshine! I'm feeling better today, Chicklet wasn't to chipper this morning but I don't think it's gastro (so phew!)
Meg: Were they showing such gems at the Toronto Film Festival? It is quite the cinematographic bit of brilliance isn't it?
Buff: Always looking on the bright side eh? But I wouldn't want to be typecast...
Slick: Thanks! I'm trying!
Matt: Nice to see your sweet head popping in.
Chris: It was earlier this week, what a coincidence huh?
Sick and twisted, that would be me.
Maybe I'll go hang out in a fountain downtown and grab unsuspecting tourists. After a few tourists, I'll tackle the jaywalkers. Maybe the police will give me an honourable citizen award or something. Thanks for the tip!
Presumably given all the raw flesh that zombies eat, they've built up immunity to food poisoning. Does any of the advice for what to do in the event of an invasion suggest covering yourself in laxitives?
Brian: THAT Sir, was the comment of the week. I bow to your supreme wit and imagery skills.
you had me at "zombie"...
my favorite horror topic!
I feel better prepared if Zombies come to my place. I hope Rod Argent and the band play "She's Not There"...
Slyde: Late birthday present sweets!
Bud: You mean they still walk the earth?
Don't children say the most direct things?
This is I why I honestly enjoy being around them.
Oh Anndi...your style of writing is so wonderful!
I thoroughly enjoy read it.
God, this post made me laugh in about 5 places!
We TRULY are twins, because as I read your reaction to the jaywalker, I would have thought and felt the same thing.
And the National Beheading Day, cracked me up!
Sending you much good energy, dear lady!
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