Walking away is not an option... dialogue must prevail.

"A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with."
- Kenneth A. Wells

"I do not want the peace that passeth understanding. I want the understanding which bringeth peace."
- Helen Keller

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Showing you... precious time

Today is day 4 in Robert's "Show me" Photography Challenge. He asked us to share something of sentimental value and asked if we would tell everyone a little bit about what makes it so special.

And I knew...




For those of you who didn't know me then, I feel like a bit of backstory is necessary.

My mother died of cancer on January 14th, 2007. She fought so hard. I watched her body wither but I could still see a mischievous twinkle in her eyes until the last days. Endless days that still seemed to have gone by so fast. Never knowing how much time was left. Hoping her pain would be taken from her, but knowing it would also mean she would be taken away from me. I still miss her, some days it's paralyzing.

Mom lived a full life. She loved without reservation, sometimes it felt like too much.... But part of that comes from being an only child.

Mom and Dad would have celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary this past August 31st. So much time, a lifetime.. yet, not quite enough...


I've kept many of her things, but this is one of my favourites and most treasured. Some day, it will be my daughter's...

I posted this poem in September 2006 and so much time has flown by since then...


My Mother's Watch

I wear my mother's watch.

"It's slow" she said, showing me the watch on her wrist.
"I'll get it fixed Mom" I answered.
I took the watch off her thin and fragile arm and put it on mine.

My mother's watch... so beautiful and delicate. White gold and diamonds... fragile yet made of strong metal. Precious stones, hard yet beautiful. The wristband feels so tight...

I wear my mother's watch.

I wish time would slow down. I wish it could stop.
But as I put her watch against my ear, I hear the ticking, regular and even.

When I wear her watch, it keeps time.
I wear my mother's watch.
I wait and count the minutes... the hours...
I wait.
I wear my mother's watch..




Robert, thank you again for the opportunity to share this memory with you.

And to you, dear reader, don't forget to visit Robert and all the other wonderful participants in the "Show Me" challenge... and thank you for taking the time to read, look and listen.

34 comments:

Travis said...

Hugs.

Shelly said...

Beautiful..the watch...and the way you chose to tell us about it.

Dana said...

The words behind this photo are every bit as beautiful!

June said...

Your words are so touching ...especially since I lost my mom to cancer too. The watch is beautiful in itself, let alone given that it was your mom's.

Anndi said...

Trav: Thanks bro.

Shelly: I appreciate that, thank you.

Dana: Sometimes words jus write themselves. Thanks.

June: I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure you have your own "special link" to her too.

Dr.John said...

Thanks for sharing and object of both hope and sadness. I wish I had kept something that personal of my mother.

Cris said...

What a precious post...the words touch us deeply. The watch is so beautiful...

buffalodickdy said...

A loving tribute to someone you so obviously loved...

jenboglass said...

This was beautiful.

:: Lesley :: said...

I have no words... *hugs*

Kay said...

Anndi that was beautiful, thank you for sharing!

Charles Gramlich said...

Lovely sentiment

Knight said...

With the song playing and the beautiful poem... I'm getting emotional. It's a lovely tribute.

Karen said...

That is so beautiful. I lost my mom almost 7 years ago and some days is still overwhelming to me.

Hugs to you.

Carletta said...

These past few days I have been in awe of the humor in your posts and today I'm enamored with your soft spoken gentleness I 'hear.'
Lovely post in tribute to your Mom.
The watch is a beautiful keepsake and your poem about it is wonderfully written.
*hugs*

Raven said...

What a beautiful watch and exquisite poem. My own mother died over the course of 16 years and I know what you mean about hoping they will be set free and dreading it too.

dianne - bunny trails said...

What a wonderful story and lovely watch. How very precious.

Slyde said...

that was truly beautiful...

your mother would be proud of this, to be sure...

Desert Songbird said...

Lovely.

My mother's watch stopped precisely at the time she died - 8:03 a.m. It's never worked since.

Bazza said...

Blimey this is difficult! very moving, thanks for sharing.

Akelamalu said...

Oh Anndi my lovely you made me cry gal! I cried because I can so identify with what you've written. My Mum died in 1998 from cancer and, like you,I watched her painful demise. Also like you I wear her watch so reading your beautiful poem was very special to me too. x

Robin said...

What a touching, special memory and a beautiful photo. Thank you for sharing it.

I have a ring that belonged to my beloved mother-in-law, whose last days passed very much like your mothers. It means the world to me that she asked me to take it.

CrystalChick said...

Very touching story. That's a nice watch and I'm sure your daughter will treasure it when it becomes hers some day.
I understand some of what you feel. It will be 13 years this month that my Mom passed. She too struggled with cancer and we were with her when she died. I have great memories of her, but I also have those memories and it's still hard sometimes.

Dillo said...

Anndi,
Poignant. For some reason the country song--shoulda seen it in color---springs to mind. Nice weaving of story, poem and picture.

Anndi said...

Dr. John: Thank you for taking a few minutes of your time and sitting with me. Sometimes objects are precious, but we always keep the memories of precious time spent with those we love, moms especially.

Cris: Thank you for stopping by. Mom loved that watch, as the eldest of her sisters she inherited it from my Great-uncle who had no children of his own. It was my Great-Aunt's, a wonderful woman who had a great smile.

Buff: I realized after my daughter was born that as much as I love my mother, she loved me more.

Jen: Thank you. I'm glad it touched you.

lesley: I'll take the hug. Thanks!

Kay: Thank you for your kind words my friend.

Charles: smooch

Knight: You're a sweetie. Thank you.

Karen: There are good days, and some aren't so great. Hugs honey.

amynoroom said...

I like your mother's watch.

Lu' said...

I have my Mothers watch too. She is no longer living 1/24/1995. Beautiful poem Anndi, just beautiful.

Anndi said...

Carletta: Thank you so much for your kindness. I truly appreciate it.
*hugs*

Raven: It was a great relief, not seing pain on her face anymore... I still wish I could just call her up and chat. Thank you.

Dianne: I appreciate that, thanks.

Slyde: Awwww... HUGS

Songbird: If only we could get it to go back a bit... just a little more time.
*hugs*

Bazza: Need a hug? Thank you for sharing it with me.

Akelamalu: Maybe I should have put a tissue alert. Thank you for being such a sweet friend.

Crystalchick: Seems there are many of us who've been through this. I was holding her hand when she passed, my cousin walked in at just the right moment. That image remains in my head.

Dillo: Thank you. I'm not familiar with the song but I'll seek it out.

Ron said...

OMG, Anndi such a beautiful and touching post!

I love the poem and absolutely LOVE the photo of the watch.

Stunning shot, dear lady!

My, my...it seems that you and I truly ARE twins, because I too lost my mother to cancer.

She was only 40 years old at the time, while I was 6.

A mother's love is eternal...as I still feel her presence with me, today!

Thank you for sharing your heart, Anndi!

The Stiletto Mom said...

Wow. What a great post. I lost my father when I was 19 and my mother at 24. I miss them both so much still. What a beautiful tribute. I wish I could speak what is still in my heart from it, but I'm not there yet almost 20 years after my mom's death. Your mother must have been very special to raise someone who could speak so eloquently with such heart. Great read, really really great.

Jeff B said...

I've been missing my dad a bunch today. This post just turned me into a puddle. Some days when you least expect it...WHAM!

Beautiful my dear, your mom, you and the watch and mostly the love that connects it all together.

Gattina said...

Oh yes I can understand what you feel and how precious this watch must be for you !

Robert said...

What a wonderful post. Even if we didn't have things, we'd still have our memories. But it's nice to have something that can bring us there with just a glance. I so appreciate you sharing this, and the story. :)

QUASAR9 said...

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death."

The wanting to be there, yet not quite there
The wanting to reach somewhere, and the moment is now past.

We are either seeking to create moments (and memories) or trying to hold on to memories (past moments).

The living in the now almost an impossibility, since now itself is already past.