Walking away is not an option... dialogue must prevail.

"A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with."
- Kenneth A. Wells

"I do not want the peace that passeth understanding. I want the understanding which bringeth peace."
- Helen Keller

Thursday, July 17, 2008

For shits and giggles...

I received this e-mail from my very funny friend Jo from Toronto and it just started my day off right.

So I'm going to share it with you (cause I'm a giver).

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real!

Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.

He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this:

We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.

I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

Somebody needs to tell that guy he was using the wrong butt jelly.

"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
~Yiddish Proverb


CrystalChick said...

'the wrong butt jelly'

O.M.G. that's FUNNY!!!

and the video below describes how I feel some days but the other ones I can't sleep AT ALL. Weird.

buffalodickdy said...

I've been superglued to a counter top, scraped pond scum off a pond, degreased German cars coming off the boat, scratched my crotch after cutting hot peppers, been kicked in the same groin by a girl wearing pointy shoes, put in a drug induced coma and Chatted With God Hisself- but this guy wins hands down! Funny stuff, dear!

Slyde said...

ANY job where something ends up in your butt, is probably a pretty craptacular job to have....

that should be on a bumper sticker...

Charles Gramlich said...

I lost it at "my butt was swollen shut." but I felt sorta bad about laughing.

Bond said...


man that is just so wrong...

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

FM stations do not end in even numbers. You can have a ".1" or ".3" but not a ".2" Or did I miss the point, so to speak?

BWHAHA...It is a great story!!!

Talisman said...

That's funny, even if it's not real it's still funny. :)

Anndi said...

Mary: I was inspired when I wrote that LOL Thanks!
I completely understand being unable to sleep one night and then being so tired and wiped out the next.

Buff: Um.. which part was superglued? SMOOCH

Slyde: Worse than having to wear a name tag anyday!

Charles: I woke the dog up I laughed so hard at that one. I felt bad... kinda.

Bond: YUP... YUP... YUP! LOL

Bud: shshhhshhhhhhhh! *wink*

Tali: I know, it has to many "holes" in it to be true... but I choose to suspend disbelief. ;)

Lu' said...

So funny and I do believe I will ask myself the jellyfish question next time I'm bitchin about work.

Travis said...

Crap in a hat!

Roger said...

Hahahahaha thanks for that good laugh! :D

buffalodickdy said...

My hand was super glued- wife fixed kid toy over counter, and I leaned my hand on it while shaving! You keep smoochin' me, and I'll have to come up there and try my ninth grade level French out... :) Smootches back to you, Mon Cheri!

Ron said...

BRAVO, Anndi!

Great share!

And after reading this...I will NEVER complain about my job!


Really enjoyed the closing photo too!

Ne said...

I liked this! and since I needed a laugh I would have to say THANK YOU!!


Real Live Lesbian said...

Thanks for the laugh! I guess I can't complain about my job either!

Jeff B said...

This was right on time for a good tee hee.


nitebyrd said...

That is too damn funny! The poor guy. :)