time...

The countdown has begun, a new year is upon us and I'm looking forward to what this new one will bring.

I realize I haven't been around much, haven't posted in a week. Sorry.

I've been contemplating what might lie round the bend for me.

I can report that I have been sleeping better and this has led to improvements on the health front. I have a feeling I had run out of power and needed to focus on nothing but recharging my batteries and spending time with the people I love.

Chicklet (the Wii lass) and I have had some much needed downtime together. I spent some time with Dad, just chillin'. I also had a few days alone to snuggle with the dogs.

I'm thrilled that for the upcoming days, I will be with my soulmate, just being.

In the New Year? I resolve to remember myself a bit more. I've sucked at that this year and I won't settle for being an after thought. I think the myth of the Superwoman has led so many of us astray, to think we can do everything and that nothing will suffer... and from experience? I can say that in the end, nothing good comes from it.

I watched my mother do it... I caught myself doing it. In time, I hope.

"I'll be able to live for myself once I get this taken care of... when I retire... when everything is done..."

But the truth is, we never know how much time we have. In the end, I want the people I love to be able to say that I was there, that I had passion, that I lived.

I'm going (ok continuing) on hiatus, in might just last a week... I don't know.

But I'll be watching, I'll keep tabs... I'll remember you.

May your eyes be filled with stars

May your heart know the Joy of Love

and may you dance in the moonlight...

Time...

Showing you... precious time

Today is day 4 in Robert's "Show me" Photography Challenge. He asked us to share something of sentimental value and asked if we would tell everyone a little bit about what makes it so special.

And I knew...

For those of you who didn't know me then, I feel like a bit of backstory is necessary.

My mother died of cancer on January 14th, 2007. She fought so hard. I watched her body wither but I could still see a mischievous twinkle in her eyes until the last days. Endless days that still seemed to have gone by so fast. Never knowing how much time was left. Hoping her pain would be taken from her, but knowing it would also mean she would be taken away from me. I still miss her, some days it's paralyzing.

Mom lived a full life. She loved without reservation, sometimes it felt like too much.... But part of that comes from being an only child.

Mom and Dad would have celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary this past August 31st. So much time, a lifetime.. yet, not quite enough...


I've kept many of her things, but this is one of my favourites and most treasured. Some day, it will be my daughter's...

I posted this poem in September 2006 and so much time has flown by since then...

My Mother's Watch

I wear my mother's watch.

"It's slow" she said, showing me the watch on her wrist.
"I'll get it fixed Mom" I answered.
I took the watch off her thin and fragile arm and put it on mine.

My mother's watch... so beautiful and delicate. White gold and diamonds... fragile yet made of strong metal. Precious stones, hard yet beautiful. The wristband feels so tight...

I wear my mother's watch.

I wish time would slow down. I wish it could stop.
But as I put her watch against my ear, I hear the ticking, regular and even.

When I wear her watch, it keeps time.
I wear my mother's watch.
I wait and count the minutes... the hours...
I wait.
I wear my mother's watch..

Robert, thank you again for the opportunity to share this memory with you.

And to you, dear reader, don't forget to visit Robert and all the other wonderful participants in the "Show Me" challenge... and thank you for taking the time to read, look and listen.