what's a zombie to do?

*sigh*

I'm still home from work.

This morning, after I stumbled into Chicklet's bedroom to wake her for school (still delusional about the magical powers of a shower) she sat up, looked at me and said: "Mom, you're not going to work are you? Cause you look like a zombie."

Nice. I got dressed and drove her to school. I had to sit on my way back from her locker before heading out the door. Man, I'm tired.

I drove home and resisted the urge to run over a jaywalker who was walking in the middle of the street, no where near an intersection and had the nerve to look at me like she was Queen of the World and I was one of the subjects that had escaped National Beheading Day. Maybe she's never seen a zombie before.

I got home and went inside. The dogs whimpered. "What?! Haven't you ever seen a zombie before?"
I called into work and spoke to my nurse and she gave me a few tips on how to rebuild the levee in my colon. She then gave me the "don't you dare come to the office and start contaminating everyone" speech.

"Not even if I bring my antibacterial wipes?"

"No."

"But..."

"NO!"

*sigh*

Although I rather enjoy a good argument, the nurse wins this one because she's the one who'll be conducting my yearly respirator fit-test and if she's anything like me, she'll remember the argument and get revenge when I am most vulnerable.... cause that's how we roll.

So... what do zombies do all day? Research the internets for propaganda against zombies... such as:

All I have to say about that is... "That's pwepostewous!"

I'm bored...

I've been home with some form of gastrointestinal ailment for exactly 90 minutes and I don't know what to do with myself.

I sat on my throne and while I cringed at the thought of using my very soft TP after a morning of very UNsoft TP at work, I started to wonder what to do next after the "chaffing". A few tears later and after having done my part to avoid spreading possible germies I grabbed the laptop (portable is a good thing even if not so much for toilets - they are foul) and settled on my chesterfield (gingerly) with it's new cushions (the ones I rearranged earlier for 3 minutes until my mind wandered to what else I could do).

Somehow, I ended up on a site informing me that today is, for my American friends (all y'all are a tad odd, guys), National Beheading Day. I was curious. So I then proceeded to research famous beheadings trying to figure out why of why, and apart for Mr Bobbitt and the misadventures of his little Johnny, I found no other "famous" Americans who have had their heads lopped off (even though I included the "lesser" head to widen my scope).

I wonder, who applies for that job.. seriously, they need to have their head checked.

So anyway, Happy National Beheading Day!

gone too far?

I believe they very well may have...