Charter for Compassion

The quest…

In the last days, I’ve read, lived, and witnessed interesting discussions. I don’t know about you, but it dawned on me that when you open your mind to a concept, it’s as if a floodgate opened and all of a sudden, it’s everywhere. It’s the concept of visualizing what you want and putting it out into the world.


Someone once said to me “your perception is your reality”.

I truly get it now…

So, what will I be sending out into the world? A desire to converse, the willingness to create understanding, compassion for others, love for every human being... Peace.

If we treat each other with respect, are willing to co-exist, renounce violence, the world would be a better place.

Recently, I chose to converse with someone whose views offended me. I was on a message board and witnessed others who, instead of listening and discussing, merely dismissed the other person. I was told to ignore the person. I saw people call him an idiot. People who said they admired our veterans and active duty troops for their sacrifices so that we may enjoy freedom, were telling this person to shut up.

I chose to converse. I refused to marginalize... and you know what? It was interesting. The tone changed... We may not have come to a mutual agreement, but at least we respected each other and we learned temperance.

Please read the Charter for Compassion in that nifty widget up there or go to their website by clicking HERE... and join us.

When having a discussion, if you ever feel exasperated... remember this:

everyday peace

"...Pick me up, oh, from the bottom
Up to the top, love, everyday
Pay no mind to taunts or advances
I take my chances on everyday..."

Maybe it's the mommy in me...

But I wish I could hug the world and make it better. It works when a child scrapes her knee. It helps when we sit vigil by a loved one. Human contact, a touch... it brings warmth and peace.

"A hug is like a boomerang – you get it back right away."
~Bil Keane

I used to work with a man who liked to hug. He was a part of the maintenance department in a petrochemical plant. He never forced a hug on anyone, but he had grown men coming up to him in the morning for a hug. I saw it.
Some of them would tease when someone asked for a hug, the kind of teasing you see in "macho" environments. But in their hearts, I'm pretty sure they wished they could have a hug too.
Whenever he would cross my path, I asked for mine. It always made my day better.

"Hugging closes the door to hate."
~ Tony Davis

I wish people would stop thinking the worst of each other. That may very well be our biggest obstacle to Peace. We forget that humans are fallible far too easily. Maybe it's because it reminds us that we too can fail, can falter.

I'm trying to remain positive, hopefully it'll become a permanent frame of mind. I'm trying to look for the good in people... in the world.
I'm not being naive, mind you. But maybe if we nurture the good, we'll be able to get rid of the bad... choke it like an unwanted weed. Don't feed it, don't give it room to grow.

I'm trying to keep my heart from going into hateful mode. Sometimes I manage pretty well, every once in a while, I regress..

I falter...

But I hope someone will see the good in me and...

bring up...
up to the top...
love...
everyday.

Please remember to join us during BlogBlast for Peace on November 5th. If you need help with your globe, just ask in the comment section or via e-mail. I’ll see to it a Peace Globe Worker Bee gives you a helping hand… and a hug.

"I will not play tug o' war.
I'd rather play hug o' war.
Where everyone hugs instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
and everyone grins,
and everyone cuddles,
and everyone wins."
~ Shel Silverstein

you have to keep trying...

Sometimes...

We can't feel what the other person is feeling... and we may hurt them...

... more than once.

But you know, when you have love in your heart, in the end... it's ok.

If everyone could forgive like Harry does... maybe there would be Peace.

A big smile and a giggle help too, don't they?

Oh...I just saw the most beautiful globe in all of Blogblast For Peace history on Thursday when I stopped in to visit Michelle of "Crow's Feet" at the urging of my Queen Mimi, the founder of this beautiful movement.

Go on and see... it's so very inspiring.

Go on... click the BEE... and BEE the change.

Join the Blogblast for Peace and get a Peace Globe for November 5th, 2009.
And yes, I have resorted to using cute and precious children to get you to join *grin*

ripples... accidental thoughts of thanks

A holiday... and I wasn't feeling it. My daughter, The Chicklet, isn't with me. Dad is gone. Mah Honey is traveling for work. Oh, and I woke up at an unmentionable hour (it's not like I had a turkey to stuff in the oven) unable to get back to sleep. Ugh.

Life hasn't been particularly cheery this year, but I would hate myself if I didn't look for something good.

I got awesome snuggles from Sharkdog (there's magic in kissing a beagle belly), there's French Vanilla coffee in my cup, and I have bacon. I get to spend some time snuggled warmly on the couch with a blanket while I read Pride and Prejudice, again. The little things matter.

I have this picture in my kitchen... a sweet smiling face of a girl that Chicklet and I sponsor. She loves to sing and read. She's far away, in Senegal, but knows that someone cares across the ocean...




That's what matters... to help as much as you can, to care for someone you've never met, to want their well being... to hope they live in Peace.

I feel sorry for people who can't wrap their brains around the thought that they can, through small gestures, start a ripple that in the end, might seem like a righteous surfer's wave.

Through the Blogblast for Peace, we can do that. We can reach out to people all over the world, we can live as one people...

Join the Blogblast for Peace on November 5th... here in the Bloggosphere, on Facebook, Tweet for Peace even. I promise I'll be thankful if you do *smile*.

November 5, 2009

The Peace Globe Gallery

The more things change... accidental thoughts

So... I was watching “Fiddler on the Roof”. It’s one of those “have to watch" movies for me. You know, you flip channels and it doesn’t matter where it’s at in the storyline, you still "have to watch" it.

I love this movie. I love the songs, and the characters. I love the story… Tevye the milkman, the patriarch of a poor Jewish family in pre-Revolutionary Russia, explains traditions and is faced with marrying off his three oldest daughters.

During a commercial break, I went over to the computer to check e-mails and I figured I’d empty the spam folder on my e-mail account. I empty it every day. I check it just to make sure actual “for real” non-spam e-mails don't end up in there. As I quickly scanned the “FROM” field, I saw that one of them was from a dating website and this lead to one of my "thinking" episodes... you know, the accidental kind.

At least three times a week, there's an offer from some online dating service... the “Fiddler on the Roof” Yentes (the Matchmaker) of the 21st century.

There are many different kinds of them, these dating services. There are some that make you answer questionnaires in 26 parts and then run match algorithms to find the most compatible candidate. There are some with pictures and short profiles that talk of loves (walks on the beach, whiskers on kittens, snowflakes on eyelashes, blah blah blah) where you browse and pick from the profiles of men/women whose faces are appealing, and so on...

Bottom line is, on some of these, people get “matched” based on what we think of as dimensions of compatibility. Just like the matchmakers of yore. Actually, matchmakers are still a part of Orthodox traditions, and they’re found in many cultures to this day.

It’s interesting really, which factors are considered to determine the best matches. The stuff that will determine whether the relationship will evolve towards a commitment and have a shot at surviving.
Compatibility… Possible life mates picked based on personality traits. The Matchmakers based themselves on things like education, family history, degree of religious observance, financials…

“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how
compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.”
-Leo Tolstoy

Then there’s the notion of romantic love. Flies in the face of traditional matchmaking, it does… imagine, picking your spouse by the butterflies in your stomach.

But it’s what Tevye’s daughters do. They marry for love.

This is my favourite song of the movie… Tevye has just told Golde, his wife, that their daughter Hodel is marrying a man she has fallen in love with and chosen for herself, not a man chosen for her following the long-established tradition of matchmaking and arranged marriages as they themselves were thrown together.
Tevye has two daughters who have picked spouses for love... and it prompts him to ask himself something he's never considered.
In this moment, Tevye, after 25 years of marriage, asks Golde if she loves him...

And so I thought. It doesn’t matter how people find their way to their life mates… but that the commitment survives what life throws at us and that love is given a chance to grow, and flourish.

Some time ago, Ann Meara had this to say of her decades old marriage in an interview in The New York Times:

"Was it love at first sight? It wasn't then - but it sure is now."

Lately, I've tried to help some friends struggling with the survival of their marriage, witnessed friends embarking on a journey, rejoiced over another anniversary with people I love like family.

No matter how it starts (a slap behind the head, a glance across a room, a questionnaire, the matchmaker...), I guess it's whether or not we love the one we're with and commit to a life together, to each other and to surviving the obstacles we face along the way that determines the best matches. What do you think?

"I knew couples who’d been married almost forever – forty, fifty, sixty years. Seventy-two, in one case. They’d be tending each other’s illnesses, filling in each other’s faulty memories, dealing with the money troubles or the daughter’s suicide, or the grandson’s drug addiction. And I was beginning to suspect that it made no difference whether they’d married the right person. Finally, you’re just with who you’re with. You’ve signed on with her, put in a half century with her, grown to know her as well as you know yourself or even better, and she’s become the right person. Or the only person, might be more to the point. I wish someone had told me that earlier. I’d have hung on then; I swear I would."
Anne Tyler, "A Patchwork Planet"

World Peace Day

It seems an ominous task, World Peace.

And no, I'm not participating in a pageant...

I just want the world to be a better place for my child.

So as we strive for World Peace, start in your heart, in your home, in your workplace, in your car (be nice and control the road rage), in your school (that's for my Chicklet), at the market, ...

and maybe it'll catch on.

If there is to be peace in the world,
There must be peace in the nations.

If there is to be peace in the nations,
There must be peace in the cities.

If there is to be peace in the cities,
There must be peace between neighbors.

If there is to be peace between neighbors,
There must be peace in the home.

If there is to be peace in the home,
There must be peace in the heart.

-- Lao Tzu (570-490 B.C.)

a wish for friends...

A marriage...

What is a marriage?

I'm not talking about a wedding, no. I mean everything that comes after the confetti have been scattered, the last dance has been danced, after the last guest leaves with a piece of wedding CAKE to put under their pillow (strange custom this, but hey... it's about sweet dreams, I guess).




A marriage, is about the lives that begin... no, not begin... It's about the new course that is set for two souls, when two lives are joined.
The voyage that is undertaken from that moment where a promise is spoken, a band exchanged, will hopefully be a long one. A voyage filled with many ports of call and adventures, starry nights, soft gentle waves, and hopefully, very few storms with no one falling overboard.



For Vince and Nancy...

May the friendship you share be strong
and may your love for each other stay true.
And may you not only make each other happy,
but may you be each other's comfort
at the end of a long day.

Lighthouse
by Ernie Halter

Happy Birthday Dad!

Happy 89th Daddy!



I am truly blessed to still have you in my life.



You've taken care of me, taught me right from wrong and given me the example of what a real man is. 

Hardworking
Serving his community
Kind friend
Loving husband
Devoted father and grandfather



You taught me that I could be anything and that I deserved the best. 
Thank you. I've finally found a man that lives up to the standard you set.



I love you... always.

If I ever leave this world Alive...

or, when it hits you where it hurts.....

If I ever leave this world alive

I do pretty well, most of the time.

But I just kicked myself in the teeth today.

You know how one smell can take you back to your past? For example, I often bring a shirt mah Honey wore then gave me (apparently we look good in their shirts even, or especially when they don't fit) when we get to spend time together so he'll wear it and I can bring his scent home with me. It makes me feel close to him.

Well, today, after taking Chicklet to school I did the grocery shopping I wanted to do this weekend but had to give up on because of a mean headache (getting too many of those lately).

My girl loves ham. It's one of those things my mom made for her and she misses her grandmother's baked ham (so do I).

So as I picked up what was needed for this week's meals, I grabbed a small ham. Chicklet has been working hard at school lately, really trying to get herself organized and she deserves a treat.

Once I'd put everything away in the fridge and pantry I heard: "Now you've gone and done it!"

"What did I do now?"

"You realize you can't waste that ham... you are going to have to cook it."

"oh yeah... crap!"

"yeah... good luck, chica!"

I racked my brain... "How did she make that?" Because this? Is one of those recipes she never wrote down. I mean how hard can it be to cook a damn ham.

"Hello! Clueless!!!"

"Go online, maybe you'll figure out how she used the beer, cloves and all that other stuff."

"How did our mothers and grandmothers manage before the interwebz? I will never know."

I found a recipe that looked like the odds and ends I have floating around my head, bits of memories veiled behind a slightly fluttering opaque curtain. Glimpses slowly revealed if you wait for the breeze.

I rubbed some dry mustard on it, poked some cloves in, drizzled maple syrup and beer on it and added some pineapple and stuffed it into the oven.

And now, the house smells just like it did when Mom was here. *sigh*



Beagle snuggles help.

"life is just a chance to grow a soul" - A. Powell Davies

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days, apparently it's a Libra trait (right Ron?) and it gets me into trouble, constantly. I've been wondering about "what I want vs what I need" (this? is why I told you to get out of my head IG... LOL)

I also realized that things will come, in their own time, no matter how I may stand arms crossed, lips in a pout while tapping my awesomely heeled shoe. I know, you're thinking how can life, fate, serendipity (pick one) resist such a lovely lass when she's being all cute and precious... it's a tragedy, but the laws of the Universe apparently also apply to yours truly.

So now, I look at my life and ask myself questions. Actually, THE question. What do I need from life, and how do I get it. Then that leads to: what do I need from my next job (have an offer for me?)? Do I need a career? Or something to pay the bills? I had a very deep exchange about it this weekend with a kindred spirit.

But, I think I'll be wise and chase one rabbit at a time. I want, no, I need to go home. That's the goal. I've found my soulmate, my home. It has taken us a long time to find each other. We knew from the first touch we were home to each other. Even though we can't be together as often as we would like, I won't complain. Not about the geographical distance, about sharing our time with anyone... I'm not that selfish or ungrateful. So now, I have to remember what the goal is and remember to nurture it so my soul can grow. Then I can focus on the next rabbit...

So tell me, have you given some thought to what you need? Do you think it changes over time?

Lucky - Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

time...

The countdown has begun, a new year is upon us and I'm looking forward to what this new one will bring.

I realize I haven't been around much, haven't posted in a week. Sorry.

I've been contemplating what might lie round the bend for me.

I can report that I have been sleeping better and this has led to improvements on the health front. I have a feeling I had run out of power and needed to focus on nothing but recharging my batteries and spending time with the people I love.

Chicklet (the Wii lass) and I have had some much needed downtime together. I spent some time with Dad, just chillin'. I also had a few days alone to snuggle with the dogs.

I'm thrilled that for the upcoming days, I will be with my soulmate, just being.

In the New Year? I resolve to remember myself a bit more. I've sucked at that this year and I won't settle for being an after thought. I think the myth of the Superwoman has led so many of us astray, to think we can do everything and that nothing will suffer... and from experience? I can say that in the end, nothing good comes from it.

I watched my mother do it... I caught myself doing it. In time, I hope.

"I'll be able to live for myself once I get this taken care of... when I retire... when everything is done..."

But the truth is, we never know how much time we have. In the end, I want the people I love to be able to say that I was there, that I had passion, that I lived.

I'm going (ok continuing) on hiatus, in might just last a week... I don't know.

But I'll be watching, I'll keep tabs... I'll remember you.

May your eyes be filled with stars

May your heart know the Joy of Love

and may you dance in the moonlight...

Time...

a wish...

I can't be with my Honey for Thanksgiving in person, but my heart is with him and our family at home.

So on this day of family togetherness, when we are reminded of the bounty we are all graced with, be it the giggle of a small child, a warm embrace with a loved one, a warm blanket and a snuggle in bed or a simple "I love you" spoken ever so softly, I ask that you enjoy your day... and that you love the ones you're with.

And maybe spare a few minutes to help feed the less fortunate...

being thankful

For love...


The love of a child, a soul mate, a parent, a true friend...

For lessons learned along the way.

For everyone who has come into my life, even if their actions or words have been hurtful. From them I have grown.

That I can see my loved ones' faces... feel their hands in mine... hear their voices.

For the moments that bring giggles... even when its not "appropriate".

For my freedom. Freedom to stand up for myself and speak my mind... and the men and women that sacrificed so much so that my voice can be heard.

For songs that make my soul smile... and soar.

And for learning to love myself. Finally. I am beautiful.

For my love

Happy birthday to my Honey!

Thank you for making me feel safe and loved.

Showing you... a room with a view

And the challenge continues. Robert from Thoughts of a Father has been hosting a fantastic photo challenge, asking us to show everyone something different everyday. Today (Day 5), he's asked us to share our favourite view from anywhere in our "home".

I have three...

The first one that pops in my head is quite simply a view that I can gaze upon anywhere my daughter is. Watching her is my favourite pastime. Looking into her eyes when we're engaged in conversation, the way she cocks her head when she's doing her homework, the determined look on her face when she's attempting to master a new skill, those precious few minutes first thing in the morning when I enter her room and she's still sleeping - the top of her head peeking out from under her beloved magenta plush blanket. And her smile... *sigh*

THAT gets me everytime.

The second is when I'm "home", with my Honey. It's that view from my pillow, the one where I see him for the first time in the morning and I know all's well with the world.

Those first two are fleeting moments that live in my mind's eye... and that belong to me.

Here are the loves of my life... taken at the Georgia Aquarium this summer.

Now, for the actual photo sharing part associated with The Challenge...

The third view I love is the "traditional one". A vista that no matter how many years go by, and however changing the sky is, it's familiar and comforting. It's the sky from either my Chicklet's bedroom window (which used to be mine growing up) or when I stand on the front porch at dusk.

Over the years, the treeline has changed. Some were cut. Others have grown tall and strong... and a multitude of colours and clouds have come and gone.

From my Chicklet's window we can watch the fireworks on Canada Day.

At dusk we look up to see the colours play in the clouds.



And sometimes, if you look hard enough, you can actually see a heart shaped cloud.



Guess love really is in the air.

Don't forget to head on over to Thoughts of a Father, visit Robert and through the magic of Mr Linky you can view other lovely views that speak to the heart of my fellow participants (some truly cool folks I'm glad I'm getting a chance to get to know).

Tomorrow? Something that soothes my soul and helps me relax.

openness

We miss out when we choose not to take a second look.

I wanted to share this song with you. It’s absolutely beautiful and makes me smile. The melody captured my heart the very first time I heard it what seems like so long ago now, and it brought me back to a time where men and women touched when they danced, and would gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes. I close my eyes and see a couple gliding, graceful, in harmony, in love. It prompted me to find out what the words as sung so beautifully by the late Ibrahim Ferrer, meant.

I’m glad I did.

So many people don’t care to make the effort of getting to the meaning, never understanding fully what is conveyed by words and things that are foreign to us. But when we do, we may discover the emotions underlying the words are universal. They’re often foreign in a very superficial way.

How it was.
I can’t tell you how it was.
Nor can I explain what happened,
but I fell in love with you.

A light that lit up my whole being.
Your laugh, like a spring,
filled my life with unease.

Was it your eyes, or your mouth?
Your lips or your voice?
Maybe it was the impatience
of waiting so long for you.
More, I can’t say, I can’t say how it was
nor can I explain what happened
but I fell in love with you.

It’s so easy to keep from peeling the layers. I mean, it can be tedious work to try and get to the core of something or someone. Sometimes it makes us uncomfortable. There can be unpleasant layers, ones that are not compatible with whom we believe we are or the even way we normally view and categorize the world. Sadly, very few people are actually willing to look deeper. And they miss out. But that is their choice to make. That makes me sad, but I know enough that although I can voice that sadness, it may mean nothing to those I cry for.

It’s fascinating really how random words you come across will often resonate so deeply when they can be linked to a situation you are thrust into.

“We don't always get to choose what we love.”
-Scott Westerfeld, The Last Days, 2006

And something for me to look forward to as I grow older... Maybe I’ll even be able to live it now rather than later.

« I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations; and suddenly find - at the age of fifty, say - that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about...It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you. »
Agatha Christie (1890 - 1976), An Autobiography, 1977

Sometimes...

You just have to wait and something good happens.

The week is finally over! And I managed to survive the monkeys!

My Chicklet is now officially on summer vacay. Yesterday evening, we attended the school's year end Family Party.
Apart from the cold (seriously, we lost 10 Celsius degrees in a week) it was lovely. I'll try and upload the video I took with my cell phone.

My heart is smiling despite some difficult past few days.

*fingers, toes and all manner of body parts are crossed for something good*

Enjoy the summer solstice my friends... May it bring a new season of love and new beginnings. Dance in the moonlight and let your troubles slip away.

"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

What I did last weekend... (the tame version)

A lot of stuff has been happening in my little circle of friends lately and although some of it is good, there's too much of a disturbance in the force.

First the good stuff:

1- Happy Birthday to The Man with The Big Leather Couch! Enjoy your day. I know it would be far more special if Matt was there, but you know as well as I do that we always carry our children with us no matter where we go and what we do.
In your honor and in keeping with your weekend birthday extravaganza, have a little tuneage...

2- I met my friend Jo this weekend. YAY!!! My Honey (who was so sweet letting the girls gab and catch up and picked up the tab for it) and I drove into Toronto and picked her up in front of Union Station. We went to dinner and although the wait for our food had us wondering if they were actually hatching and raising the chicken for Honey's dinner, we had a lovely time. We then headed for the Beaches area of Toronto for a lovely walk on the boardwalk and some easy conversation. The weather was fantastic and no, I didn't stick my toes in the sand (I know Songbird... WTF! *giggle*).

3- And yeah.. I was home for the weekend. Bliss. Before meeting Jo, we took a romantic walk along the water on the western part of the boardwalk. There was a Paddle Festival (I can see you perking up there Vince, but no, not that kind of paddle *snicker*), the colours were amazing and all manner of people were milling about.



Now for the not-so-good stuff:

1-I wasn't around enough to help my friend, and that sucks. I kept getting cut off on the train, who knew cell phone reception sucks when you're zipping about on the rails.

2-I found out when I got home late last night that my friend Julie's father-in-law is having major health issues. *keeping fingers and toes crossed*

3-And my friend Travis is in a funk, which I can't fix, but would like to.

4- Oh... and I had to leave the bliss of my Honey's arms to come back to the daily grind as it exists now.

For Turnbaby... I love you my friend.

"Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow."

- Dorothy Thompson

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. "
- Theodore Roosevelt, From a speech given in Paris at the Sorbonne in 1910

Dona Nobis Pacem

My dear friend and kindred spirit Mimi has invested so much of her heart and soul in this day, in these globes she has been collecting. And I love her dearly. I must be worthy of my Queen and such a noble cause.

I thought long and hard about today. I thought: "I should post something profound and inspired and wordy". Thoughts that are torture to someone like me, the non-writer. Thoughts that cause anxiety. What if... I mean... There's the distinct possibility that I'll fall short of such a monumental task. We ARE talking about bringing peace to the world, people. THE WORLD! PEACE! MOI! With a POST! *whimper* Some words I write and send out into cyberspace are meant to reach others, set off a chain reaction and inspire PEACE. -This is the point at which I start to hyperventilate and desperately look for something to keep me busy that will give me an excuse to step away from the blinking cursor (curse... how appropriate...) and my total and utter brain freeze (I have brain freeze, writers have writers' block, I have brain freeze and I didn't even get to eat some ice cream - how unfair!).

How? How do I pull this off? Me!

Think Anndi...

OK

What it all comes down to is...

Love.

Her love for her Papa and his love for her, that's how this started. A love she then shared with us all, so very eloquently and generously.

Such small gestures can make a difference... and no one is too small to impact the world. Even a few words sent out into cyberspace. Setting off a chain of events. One small marble touching another after it is cast... Like in a child's game.

"If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room."
- Anita Koddick

So... I thought I'd bring you someone else's words. These are WAY better than anything I could have come up with.

Mother Theresa said it best...

"What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family."

That's exactly it.

Home... Love... Family...

Peace!



Thank you, Mims... for everything.

Love you my friend!

what I want...

Home...

New beginnings...

This blog came about because of changes that needed to be made in my life. I stopped posting here for a bit, going back to the familiarity of the old blog I used to call home.

June is before us, and a year ago last June I made the best decision of my life. I came to a realization about what the path forward was to be. So, I'm back here, the new home blog, the transition towards where I ultimately want to be. I will bring with me some of the silliness, the irreverance, the good parts that the old blog held.

The truth is, in order to be happy, I have to make some monumental changes in my life.

My Honey is in Alabama. My home is in his heart and he is in mine. I want to go home. We've lived the long distance relationship for a long time now. I was afraid for a while we would never make it work and I denied my heart's true desire.

So... I have to make a very drastic change. In order to go home, I have to move thousands of miles. People do it every day, right? Should be easy, right?

But I need my daughter and I can't make a move without her. For seven years, it's been the two of us with people acting as satellites, but no one ever truly made an effort to be a part of our family, until my Honey. And although her father left us and moved into the city, leaving me to be the primary caregiver, how do I move her so far away from him? Chicklet asks me when my Honey and I will get married. She knew even before meeting him last year. She is aware of the implications.

I'm an only child... with one living parent... how do I move and not feel like I'm a bad daughter abandonning an elderly parent? Not being physically close.

I'm not really asking you to tell me what I should do. I have to trust my heart and find my way. I do want to thank Turnbaby (it's her birthday) who was the first friend to follow me here for always encouraging me to grab on to love and let my heart lead.

"Paradise is always where love dwells."
~ by Jean Paul F. Richter ~