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Something happened to my sweet little sunshine princess that made her not want any more "kissies". She still wants hugs, but no kissies. Now if you know me at all, you'll realize, this? Is unacceptable!
What has she resorted to in order to prevent me from kissing her? She sucked her big toe (thank Hera it was clean)!!! Excuse me while I go yak, toss my cookies, call ralph (I knew a Ralph once, he was vomit inducing so, heh, a worthy slang term indeed) on the big white phone, bark at the ants, etc. (On a side note... While I was looking up nifty ways to say vomit on the interwebz - cause that's what the interwebz is all about, eh?- my Chicklet asked me why I was laughing. I told her I had found new ways of saying vomit... She said: Simon Cowell? Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! My child!) Maybe she has a disorder like those people that eat dirt. I'll have to look that up on WebMD.
I used to spend hours kissing her sweet face when she was a baby. Her breath smelled like Granny Smith Apples. And she would give me those big open mouth, wet and drooly, baby eat-your-cheek kissies. I let her drool kiss ME... and now? She turns on me!
"Chicklet, why don't you want kissies?"
"Because, kissies are wet and disgusting."
You know I'm totally reminding her of this when she starts dating, right? Totally.
