Walking away is not an option... dialogue must prevail.

"A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with."
- Kenneth A. Wells

"I do not want the peace that passeth understanding. I want the understanding which bringeth peace."
- Helen Keller

Sunday, March 23, 2008

what does it feel like


... to have new blogging digs?

It feels like home.

Shelter.





It feels like I have my own private island. Fortunately, there's decent ferry service and a not too scary bridge for folks who want to visit.

It feels like it's mine, all mine. Selfish huh? But you know what? It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, except me. This is the "love me or leave me" side of my personality - "qui m'aime me suive" as we say in French. This is the part of me that knows I can't be happy if I live my life based on what other people think of me.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't care. I do. But, (there always seems to be a but) I love myself enough to accept my faults and to assert who I am... to be true to myself. Only then can I grow. I'm not resistant to change, on the contrary... but it has to be for me. Not to please others. If someone doesn't like something, they are welcome to tell me. I then have to decide whether or not I see it as an opportunity to grow.

Too often, constraints are applied to people by invoking the "friendship" card. Not maliciously, mind you. Think about what you're doing when you ask someone to change who they are... are you doing it for them? Or so you can feel better?

A dear friend and I were having a chat late last night (wee hours actually...) about blogs, about how touchy people get about them. What I told her was this, my blog, is an outlet... but it isn't me. Yes it's a part of me. And it's a place where I'll try to bear my soul. A place where I'll be stark naked and raw. But it's one way I have chosen to pull from inside what I need to see out there. So I can grow. And those who come here will get to know me as I learn about myself.

Even if the blog was me... I'm wise enough to know I can't be liked by every single being in the universe.

It's funny, the conversation started after she sought me out to bounce something off of. She was having a hard time with something and I just told her how I viewed the situation from the outside, based on my own experiences. And as it turns out, being there for her actually was of great benefit to me. It allowed me to focus on something other than the hurt I've been drowning in.

Thank you my friend.

"It would be interesting to know what it is men are most afraid of. Taking a new step, uttering a new word."
-- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

19 comments:

Turnbaby said...

I just feel that this is more 'you'--although I am still gonna do a little special just for you ;-)

But that cliff there--you and I are about to 'take new steps' in separate endeavors that will feel very much like stepping off that cliff and trusting that the updraft will catch us and we'll fly.


I'm ready!!

Anndi said...

Turnbaby: I'm getting visions of Thelma and Louise LOL

We'll be fine babe... just fine. The question is, is the world ready for us?! ;p

And you're right. This IS more me.

Love you!

buffalodickdy said...

When you do a blog for others, rather than you, it's time to make a change! Hope it all works out for you!

Anndi said...

Buff: I never did blog "for" others in the old blog... but I needed to redesign some things and this felt like the thing to do. Thank you for visiting dear friend.

SMOOCH

Sanni said...

Congrats on your new home, Anndi!

I can definitely relate to the feelings you described... that´s exactly what I felt when I decided to close Coffee2go and move to my new domain It´s sanni-licious(although I imported all the old posts - it´s a new beginning for me).

I´m ready to join =)

Happy Easter Monday!

Anndi said...

Sanni: Thank you sweetie!

I love Sanni-licious.. it's.. well.. Sanni-licious! And that's a real good thing!

I may grab some of the most meaningful posts and bring them here.. haven't decided yet.

Glad you stopped in for a visit.

Happy Easter Monday to you and your sweet family!

Slyde said...

sometimes you need some broad shoulders to have your own blog.. best of luck here.. love the new diggs!

Anndi said...

Slyde: Sometimes, but I really do think it's a great place to unburden oneself... thank you for visiting!

Bond said...

Nice new home...congrats on it.

Anndi said...

bond: Thanks, I like it.

Angell said...

Always speak your mind honey. Glad you've made the change you felt you needed to. A lot of us chicken out....*ruffles her own feathers and gets back to the hen house*

Anndi said...

angell: growing pains... but it feels amazing! You're a cute chickie you know... ;)

Gail said...

**TEARS FLOWING**

I love you too, Twinny...

And yes, every person needs a transition...I'm in one too...and I know you'll be right here beside me...

Jeff B said...

OK I stopped reading at naked and raw..... Was there something else?

Cooper said...

Welcome to Your new digs...I hope all the best on the journey ahead..

Anndi said...

Gail: You are a very special person, my friend.
Of course you are, you're my Twinny ;). I'll stand by you too. I'm so proud of you.

Jeff: *giggles*

Cooper: Thank you! Glad you stopped by.

Meribah said...

Awwww, very relaxing. The puppy like. Hugs! :)

Anndi said...

Meribah: The green is soothing isn't it.. there's even music to soothe the savage beast!

**throws puppy a scooby-snack**

Dana said...

My blog is a way for me to say what I want and be a little selfish for a bit. Quite honestly, I have no "me" time in my life except on the computer. It's nice. You're nice...you smell like sunshine and...wait, I got into Pauler's "Coca-Cola" again.

:hugs, smooches, gropes, kisses: