Walking away is not an option... dialogue must prevail.

"A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with."
- Kenneth A. Wells

"I do not want the peace that passeth understanding. I want the understanding which bringeth peace."
- Helen Keller

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Charter for Compassion

The quest…

In the last days, I’ve read, lived, and witnessed interesting discussions. I don’t know about you, but it dawned on me that when you open your mind to a concept, it’s as if a floodgate opened and all of a sudden, it’s everywhere. It’s the concept of visualizing what you want and putting it out into the world.

Someone once said to me “your perception is your reality”.

I truly get it now…

So, what will I be sending out into the world? A desire to converse, the willingness to create understanding, compassion for others, love for every human being... Peace.

If we treat each other with respect, are willing to co-exist, renounce violence, the world would be a better place.

Recently, I chose to converse with someone whose views offended me. I was on a message board and witnessed others who, instead of listening and discussing, merely dismissed the other person. I was told to ignore the person. I saw people call him an idiot. People who said they admired our veterans and active duty troops for their sacrifices so that we may enjoy freedom, were telling this person to shut up.

I chose to converse. I refused to marginalize... and you know what? It was interesting. The tone changed... We may not have come to a mutual agreement, but at least we respected each other and we learned temperance.

Please read the Charter for Compassion in that nifty widget up there or go to their website by clicking HERE... and join us.

When having a discussion, if you ever feel exasperated... remember this:


Bond said...

Interesting from what i can see..which is not enough to make a decent comment!

Have to come back when I can see more

Nessa said...

I like that they include compassion in their private lives as a goal. If we were all more compassionate at home with our immediate world, the rest of the world would just fall into place.

Thursday Thirteen - Me & Music

Ron said...

We may not have come to a mutual agreement, but at least we respected each other and we learned temperance.

Brava, Anndi!

If we treat each other with respect, are willing to co-exist, renounce violence, the world would be a better place.

Thank you, this is something I must rememind myself of because I don't always do it.

Great post, Twin!


Anndi said...

Bond, do yourself a favour and come back... Chicket and I both affirmed the charter.

Nessa, I believe that's the most that's actually asked of us. It's not always easy... but when I've caught myself doing it, it was gave me a wonderful sense of peace.

Ron, it took all my self control. I vented to someone else and it allowed me to remain calm. It's hard to take a moment after you feel like you've been slapped, but I went to bed that night with an easy conscience.
I've been thinking about wearing something that would serve as my reminder. You know, like tying a string so I don't forget?

Doc said...


Akelamalu said...

We may not like what others have to say but unless we listen to them we cannot expect them to listen to us. It's called communication.

Great post Anndi. :)

Dianne said...

I have been unable to get on the site, I hope that means there is a lot of traffic

I will continue to try so that I can read the charter

I did find a lot of secondary articles and sites about it

thanks for the heads up kiddo

Anndi said...

DOC!!!! OMG!!!!! I mean, I talk to ya on Facebook but wooo!!

Akelamalu, I tried to explain it to one of the other people posting on the discussion thread. (Jeez it's called a discussion thread for a reason). I mean, a synonym of discussion is give-and-take.
If you try and stiffle someone, if you walk away, then there is no possibility to show compassion, to share, to learn... to create understanding.

Dianne, I think that may be the problem. The number of people having affirmed the charter is growing very quickly. You can always read it in the widget.

Mother's Moon's Message said...

good for you anndi... many of us say we want peace, we strive for peace yet when an opportunity arises to prove our claims we do not take it.. you did... You listened to someone who did not agree with you and therefore he probably listened to you.. and the others who would not deal with it... they listened.... it is a beginning... Believing is halfway there.... thanks for taking the first step....

Mother's Moon's Message said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anndi said...

Mother Moon, it wasn't easy... but I had some support from e-mail friends who kept me grounded and inspired me to find a peaceful and loving place in my heart. It can be done.

Travis said...

I try not to be dismissive of people who express different opinions than I hold, as long as they do so with respect. I lose patience with disrespect. At that point, I move on.

I think that sometimes peace can be spread by not accepting the nudge, you know? You made a reasoned decision to engage and stay respectful, and you were well served by that decision.

Mimi Lenox said...

You're on an inner journey right now my friend. It's a privilege to watch. You teach me much. I aspire to your patience with those I find myself disagreeing with. Turning the conversation to peace is the only alternative but all too easy to forget when in the heat of battle. You're doing great.

P.S. You know I love ya but there ain't no way no how I'm gonna watch that sparrow video again. Just seeing the picture makes me cry.

Anndi said...

Travis, I understand what you're saying. I also believe that sticking with a discussion where the other person is aggressive or disrespectful, while unpleasant, is important. It's an opportunity to show them that a calm discussion can be had. Many times, when people walk down the road of being harsh and disrespectful, it's because the topic deeply afects them and brings out a great deal of emotion.
When people "nudge", they expect one of two responses: 1)treatment in kind or, 2) for people to walk away. I think the best way not to "accept" a nudge like that is to do precisely what they don't expect, be kind and respectful. It's disarming.

Mims, it comes from a deep need to be at peace. If I can keep my core calm in difficult situations, maybe I can send out a ripple.
That second video teaches me something new every time I watch it.

Michelle said...

I haven't watched the first clip as my internet connection is slower than warm toffee dripping today.

BUT... I loved your words and thoughts. I've had a few forum moments like yours. Some went nowhere, but in one case I eventually made a respected friend out of an original enemy.

It's a good feeling. :-)