Walking away is not an option... dialogue must prevail.

"A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with."
- Kenneth A. Wells

"I do not want the peace that passeth understanding. I want the understanding which bringeth peace."
- Helen Keller

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

If I ever leave this world Alive...

or, when it hits you where it hurts.....



I do pretty well, most of the time.

But I just kicked myself in the teeth today.

You know how one smell can take you back to your past? For example, I often bring a shirt mah Honey wore then gave me (apparently we look good in their shirts even, or especially when they don't fit) when we get to spend time together so he'll wear it and I can bring his scent home with me. It makes me feel close to him.

Well, today, after taking Chicklet to school I did the grocery shopping I wanted to do this weekend but had to give up on because of a mean headache (getting too many of those lately).

My girl loves ham. It's one of those things my mom made for her and she misses her grandmother's baked ham (so do I).

So as I picked up what was needed for this week's meals, I grabbed a small ham. Chicklet has been working hard at school lately, really trying to get herself organized and she deserves a treat.

Once I'd put everything away in the fridge and pantry I heard: "Now you've gone and done it!"

"What did I do now?"

"You realize you can't waste that ham... you are going to have to cook it."

"oh yeah... crap!"

"yeah... good luck, chica!"

I racked my brain... "How did she make that?" Because this? Is one of those recipes she never wrote down. I mean how hard can it be to cook a damn ham.

"Hello! Clueless!!!"

"Go online, maybe you'll figure out how she used the beer, cloves and all that other stuff."

"How did our mothers and grandmothers manage before the interwebz? I will never know."

I found a recipe that looked like the odds and ends I have floating around my head, bits of memories veiled behind a slightly fluttering opaque curtain. Glimpses slowly revealed if you wait for the breeze.

I rubbed some dry mustard on it, poked some cloves in, drizzled maple syrup and beer on it and added some pineapple and stuffed it into the oven.

And now, the house smells just like it did when Mom was here. *sigh*



Beagle snuggles help.

28 comments:

MilesPerHour said...

Memories are so wonderful and powerful. Oh, can I get some of that ham?

Desert Songbird said...

They say smell is the strongest "evoker" of memories. I concur.

Irish Gumbo said...

Yes, girl, the Irish really do know...I just did both! :)

I miss my G-maw making ham for Easter, I used to have a beagle when I was a kid, AND I just got Flogging Molly's latest on my iPod. Whew! I bet its going to taste good, too....

Thank you, my dear. *clink*

Kate said...

Beagle is so cute!

Kate said...

Beagle is so cute!

Anndi said...

MPH, They are and I'm doing my best to make sure I keep them. Sure!

DS, it truly is.

IG, it's a good feeling. As long as it starts with the tears and ends with the smile.
I think I need the entire collection on my iPod.
Sláinte!

Kate, she suckers me in every time LOL

Akelamalu said...

LOL you probably just created your very own baked ham recipe! :)

Dianne said...

potatoe pancakes frying - first I burst into tears and then I smile - they are all Nana

I love that beagle face, look at this big sweet eyes!!

Lisa said...

Enjoy your ham sweetie... what fond memories and it's so often about the food isn't it?

Brian o vretanos said...

Well done - I hope it tasted as good as it smelled.

You're making me feel guilty - I keep meaning to start cooking things so that I can have some of the food I remember from my childhood, but I'm always afraid I'll burn the flat down ;-)

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

a little smooch from Penny the beagle for you too!

Anndi said...

Ake, Chicklet told me it tasted like grandma's :)

Dianne, yeah... *hugs* Nana's potatoe pancakes must have been amazing!
She's been with me through a lot and gives the best doggie snuggles.

Lisa, we did :) and yeah, comfort and all so many memories are wrapped up in food. I don't know what families that don't share meals together miss and cherish...

Brian, it was scrumptious!
Just remember to have some baking soda handy and lids ;)

Gary, awwwww beagle smoochies rock! Give her a treat for me!

Charles Gramlich said...

Sounds delicious. muyhmm,

Travis said...

Good memories though. You recreated something your mom did.

And yes...women look sexy in our shirts.

Dana said...

Awwww ... those are the kind of memories that stay forever - thankfully.

Turnbaby said...

I'm not sure there is a stronger agent of memory than smell

Did Chicklet like it?

Anndi said...

Charles, it was scrumdiddlyumptious :)

Travis, I guess I did.

You'll have to explain that to me one day, that and the raccoon eyes.

Dana, I sure hope so.

Turnbaby, it brings the other to the surface I think.

She gobbled it up and said it was just like Grandma's. The smell hit he when she came into the house and she smiled :)

Bond said...

Memories of our mothers (or grandmother's) cooking are the strongest and sweetest there are

Hope you are feeling better...

nitebyrd said...

Although it's a bittersweet memory now, it will become a happy one in time. Your mother is probably smiling at you now.

DeeMarie said...

What a beautiful memory, and a wonderful chance to share it with Chicklet. Hope it was as tasty as it sounds! Hugs.

Bee said...

I hope that made you feel close to her too. :o)

Hope said...

Your mom is there. I know it. xox

Cunning_Linguist said...

Brown sugar and ginger ale is the grandma glaze that people never quite seem to pinpoint. Simple... age old.... timeless when you want to be comforted. Try it, lemme know how it turns out. ( pssst... if it doesn't taste "quite" right, add a little marischino cherry juice. How else do you think they got rid of that stuff way back when,hummm?)

Meribah said...

Any smell that brings you closer to your mother is a good smell...even if it hurts a little. Hugs.

Blarney said...

I made ham for dinner tonight. It's hard to walk into my parents, now my Dad's, house and not smell the cooking. Mom was always baking something.

JohnH985 said...

It's not smell that brings back sudden memories of my Dad. My Dad taught me the love of the written word. He was always reading and he passed it on to me. I'll be at a book store and see some book that I know he would just love and sometimes I almost go to pick it up before I remember....

coco said...

*smiles and cries a little* Sweetie, I know how it goes. I wear Rory's shirts all the time, and (I know this is a bit gross, but ...) I haven't been able to bring myself to wash them yet. For now, it's still like being wrapped in his arms when I put one of them on. And I know this is way too intense for a blog comment, but I'm posting it and you can take it off if you want. *hugs* Was the ham as good as you remembered?

Kay said...

Yes thank goodness for the 'net.... I need to find a new cookie plan, my current one has failed me for the last time.

yay for the ham!