Walking away is not an option... dialogue must prevail.

"A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with."
- Kenneth A. Wells

"I do not want the peace that passeth understanding. I want the understanding which bringeth peace."
- Helen Keller

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

"life is just a chance to grow a soul" - A. Powell Davies

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days, apparently it's a Libra trait (right Ron?) and it gets me into trouble, constantly. I've been wondering about "what I want vs what I need" (this? is why I told you to get out of my head IG... LOL)

I also realized that things will come, in their own time, no matter how I may stand arms crossed, lips in a pout while tapping my awesomely heeled shoe. I know, you're thinking how can life, fate, serendipity (pick one) resist such a lovely lass when she's being all cute and precious... it's a tragedy, but the laws of the Universe apparently also apply to yours truly.

So now, I look at my life and ask myself questions. Actually, THE question. What do I need from life, and how do I get it. Then that leads to: what do I need from my next job (have an offer for me?)? Do I need a career? Or something to pay the bills? I had a very deep exchange about it this weekend with a kindred spirit.

But, I think I'll be wise and chase one rabbit at a time. I want, no, I need to go home. That's the goal. I've found my soulmate, my home. It has taken us a long time to find each other. We knew from the first touch we were home to each other. Even though we can't be together as often as we would like, I won't complain. Not about the geographical distance, about sharing our time with anyone... I'm not that selfish or ungrateful. So now, I have to remember what the goal is and remember to nurture it so my soul can grow. Then I can focus on the next rabbit...

So tell me, have you given some thought to what you need? Do you think it changes over time?


Cat said...

I'm struggling with this issue right now for myself. It's something I've never really considered before, what I need. it's always been about what needs to be done or what others need. It seems to be something I'm going to have to teach myself to do.

Akelamalu said...

I suppose I am really lucky in that I have had what I need for a very long time. :)

Anndi said...

Cat: It's not easy, but essential. How can you meet the needs of others is your own are ignored and sublimated. What we really need to learn is the difference between what we want and what we need.

Akelamalu: Indeed you are, my friend. I needed to be loved, and not be an obsession or a convenience. I found that... Now? I need to get home.

lisa24n7 said...

I spent a lot of time wondering what I needed out of life (I too a libra), but finally I've decided all I need to do is show up each day...now I ask a different question: What does life want out of me?

Brian o vretanos said...

I was going to say that because I had never really asked myself this question, I couldn't relate to it at all, but the more I think about it the more I suspect that the basic issue is the fundamental and important human trait of never being satisfied - of always asking "what next?". For me, the question is more like "how can I be better?"

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

I think about it all the time. I need to keep my mouth shut! How does the quote go, something about since we have 2 ears and one mouth we should listen more?

Desert Songbird said...

I think some things change, some do not. (How's that for decisiveness?) I think as we get older, our priorities become clearer, so our needs become fewer but they also become more powerful. It would seems, sometimes, that we become driven to having our needs met.

Personal happiness is a divine right was well as a need. Do what you need to be happy and whole.

Lu' said...

You LOOK like you feel much better. Seems he is good for what ails you :)

Ron said...

Hello my wonderful TWIN!

Oh dear...I know EXACTLY what you're talking about here.


Don't you just LOVE how much we THINK all the time???


Ok...so here's how I figured it out for myself...

....I've admitted to the fact that I don't ever know what I NEED, because what I usually WANT, is not always in harmony with what I NEED, so therefore sometimes never manifests. And that's not to say I don't go after what I want, but it's a lot like dancing. And in the creation, I will sometimes lead...and other times I must follow.

(and for a LIBRA that makes me insane)

But I find that the longer I live, if I just allow life to give me the things I need...I eventually realize that they are the things that I truly wanted.

Does any of this make sense?

Anway my dear friend, remember something about being a Libra...

...whatever happens to us, we always end up coming out smelling like a ROSE!

tee, hee

But it's true, isn't it?


Captain Dumbass said...

Wow, it almost felt like I was talking to my therapist for a minute there.

Errant said...

in an answer to your question .. for me .. what i want from my life ? i wanna have a good life, where i do exactly what i have been created for which is to worship God and be in the right bath .. and hopefully i'll get a better life when i die ..

Anndi said...

Lisa: Interesting, I'm not sure I agree with "just going with the flow". I think choices are put before us and part of the joy of living, part of our objective is to navigate and not just ride the wave. Thank you so much for stopping by and for taking the time to comment.

Brian, "how we can be better" ... that's where the choices we make come in, I think. Interesting, thanks!

Gary, I like it when people share, the back and forth of discussion... thank you for listening :)

Songbird, I agree that as we get older we "weed out" the non-essentials. Maslow saw us as striving for self-actualization, going from one level of needs to the next. We can alwys improve and I don't think we ever fully achieve Hopefully as we strive to make ourselves better, to reach our full potential, we impact and improve others' lives as well.

Lu: That he is. And his daughter told me he's a better person when I'M around. That was the most amazing thing I could have heard from her :)

Ron: All the thinking is exhausting, but fun ;)
Life does indeed send us what we need... I think it's then up to us to be aware of them and nurture them.
Roses... indeed!

SMOOCHES to you my dear.

Captain, yours talks to you? Mine just nods and doodles. *sigh*

Errant, that's a lovely view of life. Maybe our test is to live up to the plan God has for us and to make the right choices. Spread a little love and be kind to each other. Thank you for stopping by and sharing that.

Turnbaby said...

Want is something we have more control over-- need is something vital to our true essence

when want and need coalesce--oh my

Heinous said...

I used to, but I seem to have found it. I experience contentment quite often, so that's good enough for me.

Travis said...

You said awesomely heeled shoe.

So...I decided I wanted more of a career. Then I did two things and now I'm working in a career instead of at a job. Is it really that easy?

Nope. I spent my entire adult life getting here. And then I spent a concentrated six years preparing for it so I could be ready for the opportunity.

And I'm pleased to already be home. You'll get there. You're doing the prep work right now.

IB said...

Hi Anndi,

I bounced over here from Cat's site. I like your writing. I'm signing up as a regular so I'll be back soon!


Mimi Lenox said...

Finding your home was no easy task. You will sail through the other decisions because you focus on what's important - no doubt you'll find the perfect fit and career this time. Who wouldn't want you on their team?