Walking away is not an option... dialogue must prevail.

"A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with."
- Kenneth A. Wells

"I do not want the peace that passeth understanding. I want the understanding which bringeth peace."
- Helen Keller

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I love you more than mah luggage...

I know I should say something about today. About Mom. About this anniversary, losing her to cancer two years ago.

I've written and re-written this post many times.

All I can think of is a scene from Steel Magnolias... It's not the same situation, this is not a mother losing a daughter, but something Sally Field says stays in my mind.

There is poetry and grace in that as my mother was there when I made my way into the world, I was there when she left it. It was one of my life's greatest gifts.

Life goes on...


Charles Gramlich said...

Sometimes I think the most important thing we have to learn in life is how to handle loss.

Karen said...

Life goes on, but is so many ways it doesn't. Somethings will never be same. Not being able to share important events with your loved one never, ever gets easier.

My thoughts are with you today.

rachael said...

Life does go on, and we have to go with it. I lost my Dad to Cancer and we only passed the 1 year mark last September. It was a tough year, but I did go on, and I took the pain and wrote a song about cancer, and you know what? I was rewarded for making a great song out of a crappy happening.

Just yesterday an interview about me, the song and the CD it will be on, was posted on E! online. Thats huge. & Bittersweet that it came out of the loss of my father, but as Charles posted before, we are meant to learn this lesson.

I send you hugs, and wish you peace, and hope you hold onto the good memories, thats how you keep them alive in your heart.

xoxox Rachael

Chris Wood said...

My best friend and I both lost people very close to us, unexpectedly, inside two years. What can I say? Remembering those people and honouring their memory is very important. Keeping them alive inside you is, too.

Sorry for your loss and try not to feel too sad.

Anndi said...

Charles, how very true.

Karen, I do think that's the worst part. Not being able to receive their guidance or just sharing one of life's little victories. Thanks you, sweetie.

Rachael, your song is quite beautiful. *hugs*

Chris, my Chicklet insists we make her favourite soup using my mother's soup pot so it tastes the same. She lives on, we make sure she does.

Kate said...

I love your post.

I love that movie too!

Irish Gumbo said...

Would you hold my hand? I'm missing someone too.

*sniff* I am sorry, my dear *sniff*

Anndi said...

Kate, thank you sweetie...

IG, *hugs*

Heinous said...

My thoughts are with you. I lost my mom over 15 years ago. There's always a little hole. Fill it with positive memories.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

I still have both my parents who haved lived to see their great granchildren. So, I won't say I know your pain. But I can say this: From just knowing you through your blog, I am sure your mom was proud of you.

Anndi said...

Jim, thanks. I'm celebrating her life by making the kind of comfort food she always made for us on a cold day.

Bud, you're a gem of a blog buddy. Thanks *smile*

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

She raised a wonderful daughter alright.

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Lovely and a great picture! : )

Jay said...

Yeah, life does go on, but the memories and thoughts are always there. My dad died 11 years ago and I still find myself thinking things like "Oh man, dad would have loved this!" when I come across certain things or read certain books.

DeeMarie said...

That video just makes me cry. What a beautiful tribute. Welcome back to the blog world. Missed you bunches. mwah!!

Kay said...

Dear A-

You are in my thoughts today (and many days) I can only imagine what you must have gone through and still endure.


Turnbaby said...


She goes on in you and in Alice.

Akelamalu said...

You'll never stop missing your Mum Anndi, just remember she's always with you. x

Jeff B said...

I loved Jay's comment. Eleven years later he still has those thoughts. . . very cool.

Sending warm hugs to you this day my dear sis.

Desert Songbird said...

Occasionally, even after all these years, the pain makes a quick entry, but it's gone quickly. It's not that I don't miss my mom and dad; I've just passed the hard grieving part.

Yes, Life goes on. And there are times, when like Jay, I think, "Oh, I wish I could call Mommy about this!" or "Ha! Daddy would just crack up over this!" But all of who they were, and their passing, too, make me who I am today.

Your mother would be very proud of you. You know that, right?

Travis said...

When people...ok, other guys...ask me why I like this movie, I point them to this scene. Sally Field captures the essence of the relationship between a mother and a daughter. And these women all capture the essence of the friendship of women, and certain places are simply reserved for other women. Guys just aren't allowed in some places, and couldn't exist there anyway.

This scene helps me understand that and accept that I can't be all things to the women in my lives, and it's ok that I can't.

Having been raised by some extraordinary women myself, I appreciate what I learn when I watch this movie.

Hugs for you and Chicklet.

Ron said...

Beautiful post, Anndi!

And OMG I love Steel Magnolias!

It's a brilliant comedy, wrapped in a warm blanket of HEART.

Sharing many hugs and much love with you, dearest Twin!


Anndi said...

Gary, thank you darlin'.

Sarah, I love that picture too. It brings back amazing memories :).

Jay, it's funny. In one of the earlier versions of this post I wrote about the things I wish I could call mom and tell her about. I know she sees us and knows, but I miss her voice.

DeeMarie, I've missed you too, sweetie. I'm kind of back, I think.. LOL
That's one of my favourite scenes of all time, laughter through tears truly is amazing.

Kay, thank dear heart. The pain isn't as raw. It's as if there are buttons missing on a favourite sweater and when you put it on it allows a bit of cold to come in every once in a while. I have to keep readjusting the sweater.

Turnbaby, I know. I see her in Chicklet a lot. SMOOCH

Akelamalu, I know you understand... thank you. HUGS

Jeff, I don't think that ever stops... I hope it never stops. Thanks bro.

Songbird, I wish it didn't have to happen but there's great comfort in the sisterhood between women who have lost their moms. I appreciate you, more than I can say.

Travis, those women raised an incredible man. Love you, bro.

Ron, it truly shows us amazing facets of life. Thank you.

Cat said...

Beautiful post Anndi.

There's an award for you at my place.

nitebyrd said...

Steel Magnolias is one of my all time favorite movies. I just love it!

Life does go on and your mom will always be with you.

Lu' said...

Mom has been gone 13 years next week. Gotta stop thinking about it right now, at work...Simpatico.

Dianne said...

every moment of this movie is a gift

exactly like every moment of you ...

I wish I was there - you could take a whack at Weezer ;)

Meribah said...

I never knew her, but I can tell that your mom was a good person. After all, she raised you! Hugs, my friend.