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When Bee
Let me at it!
I was assigned a blogger and went on a recon mission in full stealth mode, mind you my little red fur-lined Santa dress and thigh-high boots made it hard to go unnoticed. Somehow I managed.
What I found was a fellow smartass, and a hottie at that! Lady Sarcasm aka Chica-X's alter ego... I searched high and low, and figured a smartass can always use:
A Portable Secret Trap Door (patent pending).
It might come in handy, whether it's to disappear when the Walmart greeter scopes you out, or some strange person follows you home for a smoke.
I can't tell you where it leads, well, I could but then what would be the point? Oh, I included the very cool "Get-Rid-Of-Rude-And-Stupid-People-By-Throwing-Them-Through-The-Door-Backwards" feature. That one? Lands idjits in a whole heap of trouble.
Now I'm going to run over to Bee's and find out who got me... I'm in trouble, I can feel it.
Many thanks and salutations to Jamie The Hussy Housewife aka Tinker Sugar Socks for the bountiful Red Dawn Survival Hussy Bag. I shall think of her as I use it, until the booze and happy pills kick in and I forget my own name.
So what's a Christmas gift giveaway without some music?
And what better than a USMC band - I see Topchamp tapping her toes and what a cute grin on ya there Travis!
This is one of my all-time fav Christmas songs and it is all kinds of awesome! The 1st Marine Division Party Band Earthquake makes me smile.
"It Must Have Been Ole Santa Claus"
Remember, if you travel over the holidays and are fortunate enough to cross paths with a member of the military, shake their hand, smile, say thanks, give them a hug, buy them a hot cocoa... do something people. Cause.... Santa's watching you.
42 comments:
I kind of got lost after the mention of thigh high boots. There was some dizziness. It's a good thing there was no photo evidence. I might have hit my head on the floor.
But luckily I recovered in time to enjoy the video.
I'm with Travis... there was something after thigh high boots, but it was all garbled.
Hey? How did you get three columns?
Thigh high boots....
Good choice for chica. I have wanted on of these for years.
Trumpets WITH dancing! How cool - talented guys.
That xmas present sounds great - where can I get one?
Very interesting concept, bloggy secret Santa! I'd be afraid of what I'd get....
the bloggy world needs as many smartasses as possible, yes?
Aaah I found you! I've been lookin all mornin for my SS. Thanks for the trap door, I shall use it right now *poof* :)
Ooo!! I want a trap door!!
Trav: I didn't include the pics because it would blow my cover. I thought you'd like the video.
CapnDA: I added it.
Ettarose: If you're really good maybe Santa will bring you one.
TC: I saw the video and instantly thought of you!
Ask Santa for the door, maybe he has a few left.
Casey: I threw caution to the wind!
Gary: Indeed, and we have to stick together to ensure our survival.
Chica: Oops, she forgot the user manual...
DeeMarie: Maybe there's already one in your new house?
I always wanted one of those portable holes that you could throw against a wall and jump through for a quick escape!
stoppin by to see if you were my SSCSI partner...I can cross you off my list now
i like the idea of a bloggy secret santa!
The dress. . . the boots. . . yep, I'm good for the whole day now!
What a fantastic gift for any world class smart-ass... I may need to get me one of those! I really liked the "throw an idiot" feature you included. I know Chica will make good use of that feature. Lucky girl!
Buff: I think ACME still has a few. Now, where would yours lead you?
Georgie: Just make sure you don't cross me off Santa's nice girls list.
Happy searching!
Virginia: It's been a lot of fun ;).
Jeff: See? I think of you.
AngieSS: I may have caused a problem, poor Santa will be getting a lot of magic trap door requests...
Great gift. I could use that on a daily basis around here..
Glad you could use my gifts....now share with me DAMN IT!
gawwwwd, I sooo need that trap door when my MIL comes
THH: Have a glass of wine.
Jean Knee: To push her through or so you can be elsewhere?
Ha! Can I get a quantity discount on those?
Thanks for the idea! I need me a trap door too!
What a great idea! I'm in two minds about whether I'd want a trap door. I think on balance, I would, since I can't run that fast...
Glad you had fun and got to wear your special outfit...
Can't see the video...be back later
Cool photos.
You can get into a lot of trouble opening trap doors under the mistletoe!
I really feel terrible that all those young men and women are living in harm's way and separated from their loved ones.
Maybe next year they can all be home for Christmas..
and stay home.
VE: Put the gnomes in touch with the elves... maybe they can work something out.
Kirsten: You're welcome!
Brian: Just don't lose the key.
Bond: Shows off my legs. You need to see the video.
Leon: Thanks!
Donn: Well, why would I want to open the door if you're under the mistletoe?
I do too, my friend. I hope so.
Oooh your outfit sounds kinda naughty! :0
I can't figure out any way to say, 'Love your secret trap door,' especially after the thigh boots mental image. Oh well. ;)
Akelamalu: *wink*
Goodfather: *blush* Ok, that made me giggle.
This blog, albeit a very funny one, also sent me on a long journey of following your links and then following some more. Your assigned blogger is too funny also. :)
Love the trap door! LOL
And we did get to shake the hands of some military members while traveling. I never thought of buying one of them a hot cocoa. How sweet. I will remember that next time.
Ahhh I love it...can I have one too ?
Wait, stop, hold up, I'm dizzy...whoo. Man, Santa, highly trained combat professionals dancing with horns, trap doors, and boots. Thigh high boots...wait I was going somewhere with this...fur-lined Snata dress...Oh never mind I can't remember.
Amazing (and strenuous) post!
Madam, thank you for your shout out on the laid off post ;)!
I just realized I said 'Snata' dress in that response. My brain is FRIED.
Lisa: Thank you! One of the great things about bloggers is discovering new blogs that others are reading.
Hot cocoa, some coffee, a sandwich or even a nice pint of ale :)
Dani: Were you naughty or nice?
Irish Gumbo: Glad you enjoyed yourself. You are ok now, right?
I wish I would have visited during better circumstances but sometimes fate has plans of it's own. Good luck to you fine (if flustered) sir. ;)
Psst! Hey! Can I bribe you into giving me the trap door instead?
Please?? I'd put it under my boss and open it when he wasn't looking.
Yeah...sorry...everything went blurry after the fur lined dress and thigh high boots..some secret santa thing??
(Actually It sounds like a very kewl idea)
The secret trap door can swing both ways — you can always use it to escape when the thigh-high boot salesman gets sloshed and comes back wanting to measure you some more....
Bee: You assigned the SS pairings... you should have known I am a super duper gift giver.
I'll see if the elves have any more lying around.
Coop: Seems a lot of people got distracted there...
Marvel Goose: Excellent suggestion, finding creative ways of getting rid of traveling salesmen is a challenge.
I'm just wondering if it kosher to by the trap doors for one's kids and then just push them through. Gently, of course.
the trap door rocks, but I wonder if you can get one of those Acme black holes??? the ones they used to use on the good cartoons. slap it on the wall and POOF!!! ...gone.
You do havre a lot of fun here don't you.
Meg: I'm fairly certain a parent invented it... ;)
Orion: They were sold out.
Dr John: We try :)!!
{{{anndi}}}
Your'e a mama after my own heart--completely biased towards anything Marine Corps mind you.
Seems you had quite a few folks black out on you over the boots...hmmm might just put some on my Christmas list...
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