Legal briefs?

My plans for the day have changed. I woke up to rainy weather and have had to scratch plans to do some yard work. So, I sat down to my computer with a cup of Java intent on catching up on some news... and I stumbled on a report that just screams out “Make fun of this” if you don’t throw up first.

From the “Are You Kidding Me?” files:

If I say the words "thong injury", what immediately comes to mind? (After a good measure of giggling, that is).

An aggravated case of haemorrhoids? A case of massive embarrassment and subsequent need for therapy should you put it on backwards and wear it to a lingerie party?

Had you come up with eye injury? I didn’t think so.

Add thongs to the list of things your mother said will poke your eye out...

Who knew your mother was right when she said that kind of stuff would make you go blind?!

Let’s imagine the “Consumer Protection Warning Label and Instructions for Use” information that will now be required for “decorative thongs”:

CAUTION. Keep product away from morons and slime ball solicitors. If you try to squeeze into a small size just to make you feel better about yourself thus straining the garment beyond it’s tested elasticity in an attempt to defy the laws of physics, you will be made fun of by countless individuals on the world wide web.

Just so you know, I have since inspected my lingerie drawer (wearing appropriate personal protection equipment) and can say with great certainty that my under things are safe... whether or not they may cause those who view me in them to suffer heart palpitations however has not been duly established. I’ll conduct extensive testing (I need a test group)and let you know.

I say her punishment for filing such a frivolous lawsuit and subjecting us to the mental image of her donning a thong should be that she has to wear granny underwear from this moment on. I should sue HER for mental anguish. Sheesh!

"There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot."
- Scott Adams