Walking away is not an option... dialogue must prevail.

"A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with."
- Kenneth A. Wells

"I do not want the peace that passeth understanding. I want the understanding which bringeth peace."
- Helen Keller

Monday, April 7, 2008

please don't let it be



I've been reliving some very difficult times.

My friend is in pain. She's sad, heart-broken and I know where she is right now. It's not a good place.

When I lived through this, when my marriage was shattered to bits, I did it alone. I had my mom to help with my 3 year old ray of sunshine, and the housework... but I had no confidant.

For a long time, I was numb.

I cried...

I mourned...

I went into a period of denial that basically lasted years.

It was a long road back to myself.

I'm free now, from the pain.

I let love back in.


'If you said good-bye to me tonight,
There would still be music left to write.'

-- Billy Joel "The Longest Time"

21 comments:

Dana said...

I know exactly what you mean - and I'm proud of you for making it through and helping someone else.

Leighann said...

Anndi you know how to help her, even if you don't think you do!

Anndi said...

dana: I know you do. I'm trying.

Leighann: All I can do is whatever she asks of me.

Desert Songbird said...

Sometimes I think the pain is worse when we watch someone close to us suffer through it.

You're a good friend to be there for her.

Anndi said...

Songbird: Not being able to answer the questions... that's hard.

buffalodickdy said...

If she wants to talk- listen. That's all I got...

Anndi said...

Buff: That's plenty dear. Thank you.

Charles Gramlich said...

It would be nice if pain didn't happen.

Anndi said...

Charles: It's necessary to grow, but sometimes people get what looks like more than their fair share unfortunately.

Akelamalu said...

It hurts like hell watching a friend in pain, all you can do is be there when she needs you. x

Angell said...

Anndi - she couldn't have asked for a better friend to get her through this.

You be there for her, and we'll be here for both of you.

Anndi said...

akelamalu: It does... she knows she can reach out to me anytime.

angell: Well, I'm sure it would be better if I actually could get my butt over there and help her with some of what she needs to get done... but I'll offer what I can, someone who'll listen.

and thank you for your support too sweets, you rock!

Meribah said...

Love heals all wounds. Hugs, my friend.

Burfica said...

just being her friend should be the best gift of all.

CrystalChick said...

I'm glad you are free from pain and loving again!

Your friend has hard times ahead but she also has a wonderful person to talk to. Knowing you are there for her is great comfort I'm sure.

Anndi said...

Meri: love yes.. much better than time. Hugs"

Burfica: I'm lucky to have her in my life. She's a gift. Thank you for visiting!

Crystalchick: Sometimes, the right person comes along and makes everything ok. You know?

Thanks dear, I wish I could take the hurt away.

There are a few friends in this situation, all unique, but heartbreaking...

Twyla said...

When my marriage ended, it was the most devastating experience I've ever gone through. But now, almost 3 years later...I'm happier than I've ever been. I wish the same for your friend. :-)

Single In The City said...

Been there done that also! I feel for her. Even tho I am young my breakup, really broke my heart!

Single!

Anndi said...

Twyla: Things happen for a reason... I'm so glad you've found the good place.

single: The heart makes no distinction about age. Hearts mend, love returns. HUGS

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

In the midst of the end of my 30-year marriage, there were times when I felt that no one had ever suffered as I was suffering or could understand my pain. Now, eight years later, I understand that was not true.

Anndi said...

Nick: So many go through this... but hopefully we learn and grow. I did. ::hugs::